In Real Life

If you're following every single post in my blog, or came across the last one, I have to apologise. Raging hormones. And temper. I take my boyfriend very seriously, because, well simply because I love him for who he is.:)

"People have re-imagined the world, stopped wars, formed religions, and offered ways toward a better humanity with thier pens. Their scribbles continue to connect us to the best human history has had to offer as the current generation finds its way forward. Texts can put in contact with different regions of the world and different regions of our minds. There is something quite powerful about text that can cause one to become or to engage in actions as a result of reading them."

Reading brings you to a world out of this world. Who says we need rockets or space shuttle for that?

It's Sunday already! New week. Last week, I wasn't looking forward to a new week, this week, I'm desperate to start over. God knows why. Still slacking, but a lil' motivated, is that a change? Still frustrated, but I still can look at the silver lining and smile, so that must be a change.:) Don't mind me, I losing it as day passes by. I'm still waiting for that unexpected moment to appear. You know, the random moment you take a random decision, and everything changes? It's been a long long time since I've had any of those. Come back, please?

I downloaded the entire album of Unbroken today! So awesome. I was dancing the whole way! And I have to new favourite songs, Give Your Heart A Break and Real Life. I'm addicted to the album.:)

Random post about how random my life is. So unpredictable. Whattheheck.

#WeLoveYouTorres

I NEED A PLACE TO SCREAM. Can't do it verbally, my dad would slaughter me. So here, doing it virtually.
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?
SO FREAKING UNFAIR!
I was celebrating.
Luis Suarez SCORED.
Then checked Chelsea. FERNANDO TORRES SCORED! Trust me, I SCREAMED OUT LOUD FOR THAT. Fernando Torres, THE FERNANDO TORRES SCORED TWICE IN A ROW! TWO GOALS IN TWO MATCHES! HOW AMAZING!
It's like UNBELIEVABLE. We are talking about my man Fernando, you know, Like THE Fernando. Who had a run of bad luck since 31st January this year.
I WAS CELEBRATING. Luis Suarez. Fernando Torres. Now if only they were in the same team. EPIC. It's too amazing to fathom. AND THEN..
Comes the blackhole.
So happy right, Liverpool leading 2-0, and so is Chelsea thanks to first goal from Fernando.
THE DUDE GOT RED-CARDED. Red-carded. RED-CARDED!
Red-carded.
His last red-card was while playing for Athletico Madrid back IN 2006. 2006.
LAST WEEK, HE MISSED A SITTER, THIS WEEK SENT OFF?? Banned for THREE MATCHES! Someone, KILL ME! I'm so TORTURED, I'm sure I can't sleep tonight.
Plus, Vettel got the pole, Hamilton's 4th. Koo Kien Jeat and Tan Boon Heong LOST. Lin Dan pulled out. (Seriously Lin Dan? That's so lame. Some world champion.)
Now back to football. HE GOT RED-CARDED! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??
WHY DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST HIM, WORLD? THE MAN'S TRYING!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
No, no, no! Fernando! BRING HIM BACK, REMOVE THE RED-CARD RECORD, DO SOMETHING! You got the wrong man!
Not Fernando.:(

Dear Fernando, I love you with all my heart, and I swear I will be there for you always, cause you are my star, my inspiration. You taught me the literal meaning of never say never. (sorry Justin, action speaks louder than words.) You are too amazing, and the fact you never gave up, look where are you now, two goals, in two matches, and we know, you are back. Screw the haters, screw the bad luck. You are beautiful, just the way you are. Ahh Fernando, don't worry, we are still backing you. You deserve your spot at the top, I know you will make it back there. I know you can, I believe in you. I love you.

There, my love confession to Fernando Torres, one man who meant alot in my life. (Hahah, friends my age would rather be saying those words to their boyfriends or crushes. Fernando raised up my expectations in men. Hahah. He makes a better boyfriend lahh, seriously.) And I'm trying not to scream. Again. I'm just gonna cry.

I love you, Fernando Torres.

P.s-I just wanna crawl under a rock and hibernate. Wait, I'm not a frog. Uhm, I wanna get a flight ASAP and fly to Mallorca or Heidelberg or Paris or Amsterdam or even the Antarctica will do!

Eye For An Eye Makes The Whole World Blind

"I'd like to address the MacPhail family. Let you know, despite the situation you are in, I'm 

not the one who personally killed your son, your father, your brother. I am innocent. The incident that 

happened that night is not my fault. I did not have a gun. All I can ask ... is that you look deeper into this 

case so that you really can finally see the truth. I ask my family and friends to continue to fight this fight. 

For those about to take my life, God have mercy on your souls. And may God bless your souls."-Troy 

Davis. A man convicted of murder nobody knows he did, a murder he was convicted for 22 years.

Those, were his last words.

JACKSON, Ga. (AP) — Strapped to a gurney in Georgia's death chamber, Troy Davis lifted his head and declared one last time that he did not kill police officer Mark MacPhail. Just a few feet away behind a glass window, MacPhail's son and brother watched in silence.

Outside the prison, a crowd of more than 500 demonstrators cried, hugged, prayed and held candles. They represented hundreds of thousands of supporters worldwide who took up the anti-death penalty cause as Davis' final days ticked away.

"I am innocent," Davis said moments before he was executed Wednesday night. "All I can ask ... is that you look deeper into this case so that you really can finally see the truth. I ask my family and friends to continue to fight this fight."

Prosecutors and MacPhail's family said justice had finally been served.

"I'm kind of numb. I can't believe that it's really happened," MacPhail's mother, Anneliese MacPhail, said in a telephone interview from her home in Columbus, Ga. "All the feelings of relief and peace I've been waiting for all these years, they will come later. I certainly do want some peace."

She dismissed Davis' claims of innocence."He's been telling himself that for 22 years. You know how it is, he can talk himself into anything."

Davis was scheduled to die at 7 p.m., but the hour came and went as the U.S. Supreme Court apparently weighed the case. More than three hours later, the high court said it wouldn't intervene. The justices did not comment on their order rejecting Davis' request for a stay.

Hundreds of thousands of people signed petitions on Davis' behalf and he had prominent supporters. His attorneys said seven of nine key witnesses against him disputed all or parts of their testimony, but state and federal judges repeatedly ruled against him — three times on Wednesday alone.

When asked Thursday on NBC's "Today" show if he thought the state had executed an innocent man, civil rights leader the Rev. Al Sharpton said: "I believe that they did, but even beyond my belief, they clearly executed a man who had established much, much reasonable doubt."

Officer MacPhail's widow, Joan MacPhail-Harris, said it was "a time for healing for all families."

"I will grieve for the Davis family because now they're going to understand our pain and our hurt," she said in a telephone interview from Jackson. "My prayers go out to them. I have been praying for them all these years. And I pray there will be some peace along the way for them."

Davis' supporters staged vigils in the U.S. and Europe, declaring "I am Troy Davis" on signs, T-shirts and the Internet. Some tried increasingly frenzied measures, urging prison workers to stay home and even posting a judge's phone number online, hoping people would press him to put a stop to the lethal injection. President Barack Obama deflected calls for him to get involved.

"They say death row; we say hell no!" protesters shouted outside the Jackson prison before Davis was executed. In Washington, a crowd outside the Supreme Court yelled the same chant.

As many as 700 demonstrators gathered outside the prison as a few dozen riot police stood watch, but the crowd thinned as the night wore on and the outcome became clear.

Davis' execution had been halted three times since 2007. The U.S. Supreme Court even gave Davis an unusual opportunity to prove his innocence in a lower court last year. While the nation's top court didn't hear the case, they did set a tough standard for Davis to exonerate himself, ruling that his attorneys must "clearly establish" Davis' innocence — a higher bar to meet than prosecutors having to prove guilt. After the hearing, a lower court judge ruled in prosecutors' favor, and the justices didn't take up the case.

His attorney Stephen Marsh said Davis would have spent part of Wednesday taking a polygraph test if pardons officials had taken his offer seriously. But they, too, said they wouldn't reconsider their decision. Georgia's governor does not have the power to grant condemned inmates clemency.

As his last hours ticked away, an upbeat and prayerful Davis turned down an offer for a special last meal as he met with friends, family and supporters.

"Troy Davis has impacted the world," his sister Martina Correia said before the execution. "They say, 'I am Troy Davis,' in languages he can't speak."

Members of Davis' family who witnessed the execution left without talking to reporters.

Davis' supporters included former President Jimmy Carter, Pope Benedict XVI, a former FBI director, the NAACP, several conservative figures and many celebrities, including hip-hop star Sean "P. Diddy" Combs.

"I'm trying to bring the word to the young people: There is too much doubt," rapper Big Boi, of the Atlanta-based group Outkast, said at a church near the prison.

At a Paris rally, many of the roughly 150 demonstrators carried signs emblazoned with Davis' face. "Everyone who looks a little bit at the case knows that there is too much doubt to execute him," Nicolas Krameyer of Amnesty International said at the protest.

Davis was convicted in 1991 of killing MacPhail, who was working as a security guard at the time. MacPhail rushed to the aid of a homeless man who prosecutors said Davis was bashing with a handgun after asking him for a beer. Prosecutors said Davis had a smirk on his face as he shot the officer to death in a Burger King parking lot in Savannah.

No gun was ever found, but prosecutors say shell casings were linked to an earlier shooting for which Davis was convicted.

Witnesses placed Davis at the crime scene and identified him as the shooter, but several of them have recanted their accounts and some jurors have said they've changed their minds about his guilt. Others have claimed a man who was with Davis that night has told people he actually shot the officer.

"Such incredibly flawed eyewitness testimony should never be the basis for an execution," Marsh said. "To execute someone under these circumstances would be unconscionable."

Press secretary Jay Carney issued a statement saying that although Obama "has worked to ensure accuracy and fairness in the criminal justice system," it was not appropriate for him "to weigh in on specific cases like this one, which is a state prosecution."

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, which helped lead the charge to stop the execution, said it considered asking Obama to intervene, even though he cannot grant Davis clemency for a state conviction.

Dozens of protesters outside the White House called on the president to step in, and about 12 were arrested for disobeying police orders.

On Thursday, Alabama is scheduled to execute Derrick Mason, who was convicted in the 1994 shooting death of convenience store clerk Angela Cagle.

Davis was not the only U.S. inmate put to death Wednesday evening. In Texas, white supremacist gang member Lawrence Russell Brewer was put to death for the 1998 dragging death of a black man, James Byrd Jr., one of the most notorious hate crime murders in recent U.S. history.

Associated Press reporters Russ Bynum in Savannah, Ga.; Kate Brumback and Marina Hutchinson in Jackson, Ga.; Eric Tucker and Erica Werner in Washington and Sohrab Monemi in Paris contributed to this report.-YAHOO.com.

And the mother thought she'd be in peace after the man was sentenced and executed. How shallow. She didn't even KNOW if he was guilty. What's the use? BULLSHIT. You yourself are a murderer.  There are times, people should stop playing God.  So many times I wondered, are we right to take away another's life in the name of justice? We don't own their lives. Nobody knows the truth. We don't deserve second chances?

My heart goes out to the man's family, and he himself, the torture he went through for 22 years. Innocent or guilty, he deserved a second chance, I believe. I mean, everyone does, right? I don't know. But we are not upholding justice, if we kill too. Even in the name of justice. There must be a reason why he had so many followers.

" Dear Georgia, we don't know if Troy Davis killed a man. Neither do you. But we know you killed Troy Davis." - Words of followers around the globe.

You Never Really Can Fix My Heart

The new Demi Lovato album: SICK. So gooooood. For me, it was anyway. I might be biased, I might be telling the truth, who cares? She bounced back. The album, 'Unbroken' is currently #1 on the charts, and there's like 7 to 8 songs at the top 100 songs in the US Itunes chart. SICK. I totally love it.:)
She stood strong, she survived, she rose back, and everything she went through reflected in her music. I love it.
Thank you, Demi Lovato.

I did not enjoy this week. It's been three days, in college, and every morning is a torment. I feel like I can't face college! And that's ridiculous, considering it's 8 months now and I should love it, adapt to it. But no. It's a rut, the same routine again and again, and there's the part of me, which feels like dying. Whatever happened to me? I lost interest in studying. I go into this 'dark phase' alot. And I can't help it. I don't even know why. Chris realises it everything, and all I can say is, "I don't know." I need help. I know there's a part of me that died. I'm being dramatic? Maybe. But there's a lot in me I need to say, but I can't. And I need a place to vent.

How would I imagine the man I would want to fall in love? Hahah this is extremely random, blame CHRISTINA! To make it short, I want him to be like.. my puppy. So carefree, innocent, and he loves me more than anything. The feeling everytime I come back from college, and he's already there, waiting for me. And that amazing smile! Yeah well, he's a Pomeranian, he was born with that smile. But still, I feel lucky to get to see it everyday. And then he pounces on my leg, wanting me to carry him and play with him. OHKAY. THIS IS WEIRD. I would NOT want to carry my man and play with him. But but but, I would love to have a man who has that amazing smile, and carefree, and innocent. Who really fall in love, and not.. confuse love with lust. I mean, that's all there is to 'love' in today's world, isn't it? Such a bummer. Imagine having a man, who can wait till marriage, wearing the purity ring. The man who loves you for who you are, not how you look, the man who cares about you more than himself, the man who's afraid of losing you. THAT, is a man. And sadly, he's rare as a.. unicorn. And what is worst, I don't know why I'm even talking about this. Oh lord, I'm really losing my mind. I need a doctor! Hahah.

Happy Wednesday.:)

It's like you're pouring salt on my cuts
Baby, I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start
'Cause you can't bandage the damage
You never really can fix a heart
Baby, I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start..

My Head Is Stuck In The Clouds, He Begs Me To Come Down

Miserable week last week was. But time to put the past behind, look forward to a better week!
I kept myself from losing it by holding on to the Davis Cup semis, this weekend, yes, tennis. Did I say I give up? That turned out to be an elephant of a task, so I didn't even try. When Rafael lost to Novak in the finals of US Open, I cried with him, when my dream team comprising of Rafael, Fernando Verdasco, David Ferrer, and Feliciano Lopez is confirmed to be playing against France, I was going nuts. The perfect team, no? And Rafael is playing. And it's being played at Cordoba, Spain, so big advantage there, it's clay court! Correction: Rafael Nadal's court.:)
So big, BIG match: SPAIN VS FRANCE!
And without a doubt, The amazing Rafael Nadal and David Ferrer won the first two singles, and they were just amazing, THEY TOTALLY THRASHED THEIR OPPONENTS! Rafael, I am so proud of him. Two grueling weeks of tennis in US, no break, he flies straight to Spain, and started training for Davis Cup. That 3 straight weeks! Imagine having to play more best of five sets matches. CRAZY. And he didn't disappoint. No words currently could describe how amazing this man is. The fighter. The man who has always inspired me for years, and I'm proud to say, I was a real Rafael fan, I was rooting for him wayyy before he became the world No.1, before being so famous. Because I saw the young boy who fight for every single victory, he captivated me that way. I know, DRAMATIC. Who cares?! Hahah.
So yeah. Rafael and David doing an AMAZING job, and I thought my favourite doubles pair would have the game in the bag. Best friends, Fernando Verdasco and Feliciano Lopez. I was going through a sleepless night yesterday, wondering how they fared. And thanks alot, YOU. They got THRASHED. I was shocked. WTH? You are supposed to be Fernando and Feliciano, the awesome ones! Oh Fernando, what happened to you? Man, I miss you. Hahah. And I wanted them to win so much, because Rafael told earlier he's running out of steam if he has to play the next one.
THANK GOD, HE'S STILL THE AWESOME ONE.
Spain made it to the finals, yet again! 3 times in 4 years. THEY WON THE TITLES. I am so proud of them! Hahaha. And they are meeting Argentina, again. VAMOS, ESPANA! I loveeee you guys! Rafael and Fernando especially, And the rest too.:)
Thank you, guys for making my weekend.:) I HEART THEM!
Don't mind me, I'm in cloud nine, and I suppose, deservedly so. These times are hard, it's making me crazy! But I know I'll be alright. (Hopefully.) It's just that little things like this, makes my day. I couldn't have been more grateful.
Another week of college, NO! Deep breaths. We shall pretend that college is like.. being in Spain. A trip to Spain. Fun, anticipating, exciting, and awesome. Yeash, I'm going to college  Spain tomorrow. So excited!
Sorry, I'm losing my mind. But this time, in a good way.:)
 Love you, Rafael and my two Fernandos'.:D

THIS, my fellow friends, are my dream team. The amazing ones. And the man on the right, is THE MOST AMAZING GUY ON PLANET EARTH. They look so amazing no? Before you make judgement, the most good-looking guy is the guy second from left. I know, you must be thinking, I must be MAD to say so. But, he is. Before he turned into a monk and shaved his beautiful hair, the hair many drew comparisons with the famous Cristiano Ronaldo, in which to tell you the truth, is wayyy better that Ronaldo's. No, seriously, he's gorgeous. (until recently, sighs. he looks like crap, and his game is like crap too. Sighs.)

He's so happy. So am I.:)

P.S-LIVERPOOL, YOU SUCK. That awkward moment when I thought Liverpool is definitely not as terrible as Arsenal.

Why are you so awesome, Ryan Higa? And Kevjumbaaa! Man, he looks way hotter than he has ever looked before! You look gooood, Kevin Wu! These two, are awesomer than ever.:)

Looking Over Your Thoughts, and Looking Over Your Shoulder

It seems like I'm losing it. How many damn times do I have to go through situations like this? Again and again. But everything will be alright, right? I'll be okay. I hope so. All there's left is a wall between me, and the world. If only you would allow me to say it out loud.
I'm scared. Scared of something I don't know. I'm messed up. I feel like screaming. And all I can do is smile. Some actually noticed the rigidness in me, I'm sorry guys. I don't know who am I anymore. Funny how my mood changes so often, from hot summer anger to the cold winter pain. Ahh, dramatic. But I'm losing everything. I'm scared, what if I can't face all this anymore? What is going to happen? I'm sorry for existing like this. I always wonder, why can't I be like the others? I could hardly speak these days, I keep quiet. Today, I let my anger get the better of me, I'm sorry for blowing up like that. There's a storm in me, I can't quite push it away. It's gonna be there for some time, I know it. Because I can't changed all what I've done, and I hate that. Oh Lord, give me one chance. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for what I've become. I'm sorry for what I'm gonna be. I'm sorry for who I am. I'm sorry for everything. I hope everything's gonna be alright. Still holding on. Please, God, give me, one more chance. Life is not easy, it's very unfair. Why is it so damn hard.

I just needed a place to say it out, loud.

All I Wanna Do Is Trade This Life For Something New

I don't even know why I posted that last post. It's a Spanish poem about a girl's struggle with life.
How. Effing. Appropriate.
I don't even know what am I doing here. I'm in no mood for anything, including blogging.
But because I am so damn frustrated and had to hold myself from cussing, I need the let out. A place to vent my frustration. Please, you don't have to read it, you know what's coming. Just ranting out.

Everything is just so damn wrong. It isn't fair. And how many time have I said this?  Life keeps getting worst. ItslikeeverythingIdoiswrong. I should stop. Well, just now I went into this mad rant to my bros saying how everything is stupid. Well, everything IS stupid. The urge to tear everything from sight, and break everything around, and just screaming our heads off.. Hell, the urge to throw this damn laptop on the floor for lagging. Even THAT has to have a hitch in it. And oh great, back to college. And I want to so badly just run away. Stupid college. Stupid everything. The F1 race is stupid. The football matches yesterday is stupid. That guy was dropped, DROPPED! How ironic is that, the both of us, run on the exact same luck all year. Everything goes wrong, WRONG! Why is it that the world no longer believes in us? He, the star of the world. Me, theusedtobebrilliantstudent. Now, we are just plain lost cause. People look down on us. Some hates us for not being what they want. I'm sorry, I don't we don't live to impress you. I have dreams. And so did he. But nothing is helping much. Hello, I'm still alive, in case you didn't notice, and I don't plan to live a life doing what people want me to, being a stickler to rules and pretty much being lifeless. But guess what? This is how you live if you're the eldest daughter living in the urban side of Malaysia, and having so much of expectations dropped on our head. It's ridiculous. I hate living here, everything is just so... Idon'thavewordstodescribeitfornow. I want to live life differently, is that wrong to ask. I suppose not. Something more.. adventurous? Something I can learn every single day, not staying here, and going through the same effing rut if not learning anything AT. ALL. Everything is just the same. SO contained. So not random. So in motion. So boring and unproductive. It's not the life I've imagined. And the people around makes it way worst. He just have to come and create a new problem and have everything fall apart, one not talking to the other and one doing like is and I'm getting pretty sick of ALL THIS! Give me a life,  to LIVE! It's so effing unfair how I wish so freaking badly for everything to be what... fairytale perfect? But no. This is reality. REAL. IS. STUPID. And all I wish is for everyone AROUND ME, don't speak a single, SINGLE word to me. Don't care about me. Just forget I even existed. It's all I ask, ALL I WANT. Just till the end of this year. Give me some breathing space. Because these people I've known, are all.... plain sickening. I'm sorry, did I say I was pissed? Yes I am. So yeah, EVERYTHING SUCKS. And I'm practically counting the hours to my death. I hate my life! And when everything is falling apart, then you'll see, Manchester wins big, 5-0, 5-0! Sebastian Vettel wins again, Lewis Hamilton lost out, to FOURTH PLACE, and next? Novak Djokovic to beat Rafael Nadal flat out. So fucking predictable. There, I let that out. Not that anyone cares.
All those people wearing those fake expression, all smiling and laughing out loud and acting as if nothing was ever wrong.. when ten years ago, 3000 people died thanks to a terrorist attack at the World Trade Center. And all left now is.. Ground Zero. All of them who had a life to live, and loved ones to care for. Seriously, what do they get from killing people this way? Satisfaction? Then you are so stupid! You brain, is deluded. Dysfunctional. You don't deserve to live. All these terrorists, anger me even more. You are not God, stop acting like one! All those lives you took. The raw pain of those who grieved and still do, for them.
My heart goes out to those who lost their loved ones, all I can say is stay strong, and never fall out of love, you can make it. Make them proud. #StayStrong.

Here, I'm done. Everything and everyone around me is stupid, and whatever la. Everything above, is what is inside my head. A tornado of words. Trust me, there are more of them. I'm not willing to let it all out. I hate everything. EVERYTHING. Just leave me alone. Ughhh. Not helping. None of it.

Still, I extend my prayer and love to those struggling with lost of their loved ones. It must have been so hard.

Cerrando los ojos

Huyo del mal que me enoja
buscando el bien que me falta.
Más que las penas que tengo
me duelen las esperanzas.

Tempestades de deseos
contra los muros del alba
rompen sus olas. Me ciegan
los tumultos que levantan.

Nido en el mar. Cuna a flote.
La flor que lucha en el agua
me sostiene mar adentro

y mar afuera me lanza.
Cierro los ojos y miro
el tiempo interior que canta.

Till The Last Song

"Every face has it's own story."

Think of it, nearly seven billion people, each to his or her own.

The story of a ten year old child, who's slow mental development has proved much of an hindrance to her. She has to face verbal abuse from her father and her grandmother who took care of her when her parents were at work, she has to face the pain of being pushed down, and degraded all the time. "Stupid child." The label on her head. She tries hard, to change things, to be like her high-achieving cousins, but for ten year old, having to do this alone is too hard to handle. Even at such a tender age, she had to feel the pressure of the world against her. And the battle with her inner self.

The story of a teenager, on the brink of adulthood, when struggling with life just got a million times worst. This time she saw what the world sees her like, how society's view determined how she should live, with force. She's no longer entitled to be herself, do and hold on to what she loves. And with that she falls into depression. Being skinny's the new black, she was troubled with eating disorder. Worst for her, because she happens to be a famous celebrity as well. Don't like her look, haters scream foul. Her childhood troubles came to haunt her at her late teenage years, and she fell into pieces. She cut herself for escapism, hiding those scars with bangles in the face of the media. Her world was bleak, and everything was resonating pain. Her scars are what she is made of. Hers and hers alone.

The story of broken love, between two people. A boy, who moved on the moment he broke up with the girl he once held dear, and a girl who is left in fragments of her old self. The boy never looked back, went after another, obsessed with the chase, his only desire was to have her, never once looking back at those memories he shared with his ex. Funny how the word 'ex' is something almost everyone has became familiar with, something that no longer leaves an emotional effect. But the girl.. A broken wreck. She keeps holding on to every memory they had ever shared, and there was the faintest glimmer of hope in her, that he would come back, and start again. That he would reignite everything he promised would last. But it was all a losing battle. She breaks down everytime she sees him with another, how he held and chased her the same way he did to her. And it kept her wondering, is there all left in him? Has he really forgotten everything they shared? She still stands, a broken mess, but a wiser one at that. She's left battling her emotions, her lost love.

What about the story of an insecure boy? He's a mess as well. Being a boy, he was expected to be stronger, and less sensitive, but that is a fail attempt for him. No one would understand, and everytime he tries to stand up for himself, he falls even worst. Nobody cares. Nobody understands. And there's the label others talk of him,.All he feels.. is being lost. Completely. If the world was a little more different? His state was like the waves, propelling up and down. A mess, a mess. Who is he, really? He doesn't know. Not yet, perhaps.

A story of a struggling single mother. She lost her husband, and left to fend for herself and her kids, who are barely able to think for themselves. She had to work, day and night, and there's only fear in her. Fear of not being able to provide enough necessity to her kids. Fear of losing herself in the pressure of working. Fear of not providing love to her kids, who meant the world to her. Fear of being oppressed by the society, fear of losing her job, fear of falling out of life. She lives in fear. She couldn't do anything else but to hold on, her silent tears speak for her.

A story of a girl losing her dad to cancer. She hasn't spoken to her dad for three years, because of her dad abandoning her family in search of his career. Or so she thought. It hurt her, but when she found out the truth, the fact her father was one of the most amazing men in her life, the fact he loved her more than his life itself, when her love for her dad was just beginning to grow, she also found out her dad was dying. After three years, of her not speaking to him. Cancer eats him alive, the torment of having to watch him die. The pain of losing someone. The burden of the grief she had to carry for years to come, because of all the time she never spoke to him. 

A story of a young women who lost her family in pursue of her career and interest. It was very well not her fault, her parents tried to tie her down, try to held her, like how every female should be. It's their belief a girl should grow up only to serve her husband, not to speak for herself. That alone, crushed her dreams, her aspiration. But she has always believed in herself, and her dreams. Her ambitions. She knows she just needs to work hard and believe, and everything she's ever dream of will be within her grasp. Then again, her dreams, lost her family. Her parents, who never knew who she was the entire time she grew up, so often she was tied up. But she knew she had to sacrifice. Now a successful engineer, while tasting the sweet glory of her success, she also had to taste the salt in her tears, the raw pain of losing her family, the ones who should be with her feeling this happiness. Now there was a part of her that was all bitter and hollow. Every time she sees the people around her, celebrating with people they call family, the people they call, home.

Story of a man who made a costly mistake in life. He was the star of his career path, he was so loved, he was worshiped by fans, he was cited the idol, the perfect role model. But as time goes on, he was left with an empty feeling. He wanted to see if life can take him further. And he did try. But it seemed the moment he reached for something different, to reached higher, everything went downhill. Why? He did try. But no one understood. He became the most hated person there is. Most of his fans turn their backs on him. Some didn't, and stood by him. He struggled in his career, he became a joke. He fans got tired of him, his manager underestimated  his value, he was so often overlooked, and today, he was left watching his national team thrash Lichtenstein 6-0 in the stands, he was kicked out. An outcast. When he was part of the reason to the team's revival in world stage 3 years ago, the man who almost single-handedly won the Euro 2008, the man who gave the team a new confidence, the man who gave Spain a reason to contend for the big world title last year in Africa. He was that man. The one who was once looked up to as if he's God. Why did this happen? Because he dreamt of reaching the stars, to move one step ahead in life. A dream that brought him down.

The story of an girl who lost friends. Friends who used to mean the world to her. Her best friend, the guy she trusted and grew up with, betrayed her. What happened to him? Apparently 18 is the age he run wild, he left the girl who trusted him with her life, a broken wreck. The good friends who promised they won't forget each other, and always be there, in a big family. And all of them left, leaving her in wonder, how fast people changed. And all there left are memories which haunt her. She was there for you when you needed. She was ready to sacrifice her sleep, making you smile right into the dead of the night. Remember that girl? What do people want in life, really?

The stories of people who lost someone they loved. The stories of people who's life changed with a single incident, a single decision. The stories of lost love, ad found love. The stories of successes, the stories of failures. The stories of simple-minded materialistic people. These are stories, of each individual around the world. Everyone, has a story. Most of the time the sad story of someone, makes them who they are in life. The pain and the experience, makes a man wiser. Always have. Many people grumble, whine, complain  about the troubles they face in life. I have to. But I keep reminding myself, after every grumble or complain, there are many others who had it worst. And they still faced it all, in the hopes, that one day it will all be alright. Good things always come to those who wait, right?
These are all the stories of life, some happened for real, some I have witnessed, some I have read about. And here we are, taking life for granted, just because we don't face all these? Not yet.
These are moments when we see how unfair life is, how very unfair. And we don't know why. But it's true that there's always a silver lining after every cloud. Maybe that's why. To make us a better person, for the greater good for everything. Life is unfair, but in every sad story, with every tears shed, there are beauty behind it. A beauty not everyone can see.

These are the stories that become our legacy. It makes us who we are, so maybe it's time we embrace it.


"Life, he realized, is very much like a song.
In the beginning, there is mystery, in the end, there's confirmation, but it's the middle where all the emotions resides to make the whole thing worthwhile."

All My Windows, Still Are Broken

Here's a random post to tell everyone how I'm faking myself being so happy and bubbly and how everything is so perfectly fine, that I'm practically prancing and enjoying every second of my life. The world is such a wonderful place, it could not have been better for me. Oh yeah, did I mention how amazing are the people around me? They are always there for me, so thank you guys!

Ugh, this is not helping.

I hate being so frustrated and everything. But dear God, you know I love you, don't you? Sighs.
Anyway, thanks Hui Yen. For everything. For simply, being there. Sorry I couldn't get anything to post about me being happy as you asked, so... does faking happiness counts? Oh lupakan sahaja.

Btw, after yesterday's show, I think Adam Levine does deserve to be the BEST COACH of The Voice's show. He's an incredible coach, and he doesn't really look down on anyone that terribly, hell he doesn't pick obvious sides unless he needs to defend an ailing or pawned contestant. Sometimes cocky, yeah, but he knows his elements, his work. He's brilliant! How can he be a complete asshole in the last week show I don't know.
And I got early favourites for the show already.:D Javier Colon and Vicci Martinez. Ohkay, not early favourite exactly, cause these two went all the way to the finals, with Javier finishing as the winner and Vicci the 4th place contestant. Both of them are incredible! Javier has THE BEST VOICE, so BrunoMars-like! Vicci's energy is so infectious, we would want more! But we want more Adam Levine, please.:) Hahaha.

The only best part of my day is: Watching I Am Number Four again, (Alex Pettyfer the whole way): Apparently I learnt that, in the sequel, The Power Of Six, Number Four will start to fall in love with Number Six, who is in love with both Four and Sam, because Sarah got jealous of Four's close-knit relationship with Six that she betrayed him to the police (HOW COULD SHE EVEN THINK OF THAT?!)  but but but he loved her! and her betrayal made the reality of her jealousy,because it was Six who had to save Four from the police. In your face, Sarah Hart. John Smith is like... an angel. And speaking of angel, I still keep praying he would accept the role of Daniel Grigori because I can't imagine anyone else. C'mon Alex, why is it so dayumm hard?!

..and and and The Voice. (Adam Levine.:)) : In which Beverly Cleveland annoyed the heck outta me, because hello, you're performer! Not a lion-tamer? Patrick Thomas! Sangat cute.

The best part of being a dreamer is that... you can get completely lost in your dreams, that reality feels so fake.