It's Such A Funny Thing, How Nothing's Funny When It's You

I'm feeling terribly tired these days, and I don't know why. And emoing is official part of my resume. Hahah. Bad, bad! Waiting for the hols so I can detox myself(yeah, detox, haha! Emo is poisonous.:)) And exams, next week! Panic! Breathes deeply. I am dying. Hahah. Drama trauma. Seriously, I'm too relax at one time, and the next I'm fretting over things like it's the end of the world. Oh well. Keep Calm and Smile.
And and and I won't be blogging much I suppose for these two weeks. EXAMS! Assasinate me, if I do. Please and thank you.:)
The weekends was adrenaline-filled.
Verdasco lost, again. No surprise there. BUT, I was so so so expecting him to meet Rafael Nadal in the next round, which is going on as I type! That is criminal, he deprived me of my dream match! I will break up with him soon. SOON.
Good luck, Rafa!
And Monaco Grand Prix was the most dramatic race I've EVER SEEN. Lewis Hamilton had a bad qualifying, so he started behind, and it didn't help that the circuit is too tight for overtakings, but you can't get this guy to NOT try it, right? So yeah. But unluckily for him, there were too many crashes! Still when he overtook Michael Schumacher, the commentator was raving at how amazing it was, and it was the best they've seen in years. And I don't deny it. He was stunning, And then came Massa, blocking him. They kept dueling the entire way, and CRASH. Massa crashed out. But you know what was the irony, just minutes ago I was cursing Massa who happened to be my youngest bro's fav, because he's suchaa big Ferrari fan, I told him frustratingly, "Ugh. Massa to crash, Lewis to escape." I simply made that stupid prediction because I was so mad! And surprise surprise, it happened EXACTLY what I said. Massa crashed BADLY, Lewis escaped narrowly. My bro was flabbergasted.:) From that point onwards I realised, whoever tried to fight off Lewis from overtaking them ended up crashing out of the race. In fact, a guy had to be brought to the hospital, yet not that it was Lewis fault, cause he crashed after Lew overtook him. Perhaps he was too distraught he got outwitted by a masterclass act. HAHA.
And finally, Barcelona. Amazing, amazing, beyond fantastic. It was pure class. They slayed Manchester United, in a game that was lopsided, the champs were unbeatable. Manchester looked bleak, no answer for Barca's defence and attack. And Lionel Messi, he SO deserved the credit. FANTASTIC! So was Pedro, Villa and the rest, and I must say, Xavi. Most hardworking guy on pitch, and he was the man behind those three goals. Congrats.=) And David Villa's goal, happened to be the BEST of the night. Worth those hours I stayed awake.:)
That's it for now, will be back in... Sometime soon, hopefully.
Lesson of the day: It doesn't matter what spiteful things others have to say about you, just believe in yourself. Know your strength, love yourself, because if others have something to say about you, you know you are special. But do know that you have to be in the right track, mistakes can be forgiven but known sins are the worst. If people don't like you for who you are, and try to bring you down, just smile and erase them.

Say whatever you want, but it's no secret that I smarter than you, I'm way talented than you, and I am capable of so many things you couldn't. I'm happy being me, take it or leave it. You might flaunt that confidence in people's face, but it's what make you look ridiculous. Because others know you are stupid but you try to conceal it. An epic failure, they said.:)

I miss Richard Hardin and Richard Herrera. I remember those Thursdays I used to have, screaming and jumping, just for them. Richard Herrera especially. He inspires me in so many ways, I used to think, I want to be just like him. A perfectionist in many ways, he's also courteous, calm, cool, a really nice person, and a determination like no other. He's really amazing. My inspiration.:)

You Said You Was King, You Lied Through Your Teeth.

It's really hard to find genuinely nice people in the world these days. Sadly, it's true. People have evolved, and threw the real definition of civilisation, out of the window. And even more tragic, is the fact, that teenagers and children these days, well I sort of agree to what the elders would say, they are becoming more uncivilised.
Alright, you may disagree with me, but it's time to face it, people. But still, I don't say all of us are a bunch of useless uncivilised fools, some are. They just don't see what they live for.
They don't look at the world, and appreciate it's beauty.
They don't make the effort to bring a smile upon another's face.
They come up with hurtful words that breaks a person.
They are conceited, vain and all they care is about themselves.
Worst, are the fakers. All their pretenses. Lies. And you think I can't look past those facades?
Stop living a fake life. Stop hurting others, and look at what they do for you, appreciate it. She cried at night, a broken mess, to what you did to her, and you don't care? Some things may seem a joke, but look at the consequences. Those aren't white lies you thrive in. Those are lies of your life. She cared for you, she gave her everything, and you leave her broken with that simple line. No, you wouldn't know what it's like.
Nobody's not worth it. Each to her or his own, they are original, can never be replaced. Each are special in their own way. Hell, the currently famous line, " You're beautiful in your way, cause God makes no mistakes."
So who are you to judge, when you're not a even a diamond in the rough, but a sickening liar. A heartbreaker. An unnecessary liability to the world. Stop thinking your strides are worth the world, you are just a disaster to those who have met you. A regret.
Why is it so hard to be nice?
Why is it so damn hard to act like a friend? You don't appreciate. You never do.
But seriously, do people get away just like that by being mean, and hurtful? I hope not.
Always, ALWAYS be nice. And care for those who care for you. Don't regret it when they are gone.
Funny, it was me who stood by you all those times you had a hard time, it was me who cared. But you will never see. You, you and you. Wow, there's a pile-up. All those people I loved and trusted and cared for. All are nothing but backstabbers. You will regret.
BE NICE. CREATE SMILES.
How would you feel if you were the reason someone had a sleepless night, someone had to fake a smile to hide those tears?
But you will never see.

My theme song of the day, and somehow I suspect it's gonna stay for the week:
BLACK AND YELLOW.
HAHAHA!
Thanks to Brian Teoh. That guy got it STUCK in my head!
"Everything I do, I do it BIG."
Ahhh I loveeee my friends! Friday was hilarious in the bus. And crazay. But what's even MORE crazy is the theory about the origins of AIDS which in a way is simply disgusting. Conclusion: It is not from Chimpanzees.
Pirates was amaaaaazing. However boring the storyline is, you watch it, for Captain Jack Sparrow.:) But someone else caught my eyes. Philip Swift a.k.a Sam Claflin. He was.... oh well, I will get to see him more in Snow White next year.:) As a prince!
Rafael Nadal crushes someguyGodknowswho and thank god for that. Pray for him.
Lewis had the WORST qualifying ever but he's gonna prove why oh why he's too hot to handle.
Fernando's next. AHHHHH HE'S AGAINST IVAN LJUBICIC I GUY HE HAS PROBLEM BEATING. Please pretty please let this be alright, I SO wanna see him against Rafael next round!
And the epic match: Man Utd vs Barcelona. At this point, I'm willing to give anything and EVERYTHING for Barcelona. Please dear God, my pride and everything I hold upon is at stake. Yes, on a game, but it's THAT serious.

"No I realised you are not worth me wasting my time on." You forgot everything, didn't you? Who cared when you had a hard time with your grandmother's death? I thought I did. Or did you lie about that too? Who cared for you every effing single day? Who did her best to act like a real friend? All I ask was for a company during my darkest hours. Who cared about your welfare, about your studies, about your work, about your family? It was all my fault. You prefer everything that is wrong. You've changed, or you revealed your true self. But why? 

I've Got My Eyes Wide Open, I've Been Keeping My Hopes Unbroken.

The world, is a funny funny place. Weird to the power of infinity.
Everything is either completely random, or predictable.
Either everything falls into place, or everything goes completely wrong. 

Definition of Undying Love: My Love For Rafael Nadal.=)

It's only 8.30, I'm starting this post, and dayummm I'm half-dead. God save me.
Anyway, yesterday, yours truly here saw a shooting star. No, I am NOT kidding. I'm practically 18, I wouldn't come up with something far-fetched unless it's true. And the shooting star, IS REAL. Bona-fide. Sadly, I don't think anyone would actually believe me. Except for Chris and Vince, and I think Prawn did too. Or maybe not. No, he did. I think. Thanks guys. Hahah. But I SWEAR, it was reaaaal. And believe me or not, it doesn't matter. I just felt really extremely lucky and blessed. I was just stargazing last night, as usual. At about 9.30. And yesterday, the sky was heavenly. There were so many many stars, all strewn over the black skies like like.. DIAMONDS! Ahhh I was swooning over them and suddenly a star moved. LOL. I thought it was a firework at first. But it was stupid. And I thought it might be a plane. THAT was even more irrational. If a plane flies in that arc, the people in it would have died out of cardiac arrest. Hahah. It is bona-fide Shooting Star! Anyway, it doesn't matter.
So yeah, that was the bizzarely amazing thing yesterday. Today.... Lunch with The Bus-ers. Me, Brian, Bryan, Chia, Chris, Kenneth, Rahu, Victor and Vincent. And it's one of the most awesomest lunch outing to date. LOL. Vincent was apparently mad at Bryan Ong because he slept on his shoulders in the bus this morning. I was right behind them, and I remember Bryan asking Vincent if he could lie on his shoulders. Vincent said, NO! But Bryan still ended up on his shoulders. LOL!From and ordinary lunch date, we made it into Bola Kopitiam. Hahah. The debate was mostly between Eu Jian and Brian la. But me and Vince was involved as well. And this nutcase Brian finished his 'free" food so fast, and he was practically screaming in my ears. And that obscene things they did in the corridors. OhmygoshhowIwishthattimeIdidn'tknowthem.
I'm a lost soul in career department, so STOP ASKING WHAT I PLAN TO DO!
My boys are heating up the court now, and it's so freaking scary! Holding my heart in my hands! I'm being dramaaaatic. But who wouldn't when... when when Rafael Nadal just lost the 2nd set in the 1st round and struggling in the 3rd? Boy, you give me a heart-attack. And I'm not expecting the best from Nando either. Juan Monaco, I tell you! If I could wish upon a shootingstar now, it would be, save my boys from defeats. No sweat in that.
Tomorrow is the day, I die. So, you hear from me here first, don't be surprise.
Love, Deena Verdasco.

P.S-Congratulations Justin Bieber. You are awesome. Amaaaazing. 6 Billboards title. But most of all.... I wanna wish beyond congratulations to the artist who have ALWAYS kept me sane at my darkest or saddest hours.

Dear Eminem, 
You are amazingly awesome, and you so totally deserve the Top Artist title alongside the other 5 titles, cause you are too amazing for words. And you ALWAYS get the words right. Love youuu.

Drool-worthy.:)

Let's Be Marie Antoinette And Count Fersen, At Least For Tonight.

Lewis Carl Davidson Hamilton, HAS ALWAYS MADE ME PROUD, BUT TODAY, I'm ECSTATIC. Baby, baby, baby! You were AMAAAAZING, baby! For someone with a notsogoodcar to hold onto the race leader who has an outofthisworld car, and finishing the race with less than a second behind(yes, only 0.6 of a second!) HE IS PHENOMENAL. You want to know the true nature of a fighter, a man who never says never? Lewis Hamilton is the role model. He fought like a Spartacus on a Roman battlefield. My ultimate inspiration. YOU ARE AMAZING.

P.S-Happy Happy Happy Eighteenth, Vino! Officially legal now? Whatever that means. Hahah.

P.P.S-I'm gonna miss Wanieyyyyy Johari SO MUCH! Good Luck, Waniey. And Maysara. And I hope the other one, A, is no longer mad at me, for no reason.

JRandall, You Are Amazingly Hot!

Give Me Everything is making me feel super-highhhhhhh.=D

Lewis Hamilton is one hell of a badass dude, just like Nando. Love you, baby.=)

Guardian Angel? Hahahaha! What the hell lah! I feel SO ANGELIC. Weeeeeee, I'm an angel! XD From Goddess to Angel. What's next, Fairy?=D We let our imaginations run WILD.

You, With Your Switching Sides, And Your Walk-By Lies And Your Humiliation

Thank you God for Justin Drew Bieber.=)

I'm sorry if I've been a little cold to some of you guys lately, I'm just rebelling against the world. Hahah. Nevertheless, don't worry, I'm perfectly sane. I'm too amazing to lose it right now, because, if you see it as I see you see it the right way.:)
Being confident, doesn't hurt at all. Not a single bit. In fact, it's the best drug you wanna take with you at all times. It's something you can shove up the faces of those who seem dead-set in breaking your strides, ruining your day.

Too many people exist to break you, and play with your emotions. Do you honestly think I'm a toy? Well then, go ahead, do it as always, break more people, and I say, you are looking at a future of hell. You will pay for all your lies, games, jokes, which you think is funny but it never is. To destroy a person's dream? You are gonna have someone doing the same to you, soon. You suck. I mean come on, I feel sorry for those who trust you. You have done too many things, your past is contaminated with lies, and you think you're gonna survive with your lies? Don't worry, and all the times, I'll sit here and smile and watch as your world crumbles. And if you remember I'm here...
Blah Blah Blah.
It's the WEEKENDS! I should be celebrating? I am. Just chilling out and forgetting the week. It's a brand new one next week. Ahhh but then again, every F1 weekend, is an exciting weekend. It's like the adrenaline rush surging through the entire world from the circuit. And this week, Barcelona babyy! I am so completely excited, because.. I get to watch it and my brothers don't. How exciting, right?=)
Why on Earth is Rafael Nadal Parrera starting his French Open defence with John Isner?? Bad omen. BAD OMEN. I wonder what Fernando Verdasco's got. Oh boy, I think you might die. I still love you.:)
Haley got Reinharted out of America Idol this week. Like I care. Stupid la. The finals, is gonna be BORING. Completely. Just that, I'm SO watching the results show, come on AI, give us a James Durbin solo or a James-Steven Tyler duet!
I've got a new vision but I don't know how to pick my fallen self up.
Life still sucks.
But we shouldn't care so much. Just smile, nod, observe.
Don't forget to smile. Don't forget to breathe. Don't forget to feel. Don't forget to believe.
Just keep holding on.
I can't believe that I'm missing out on Johnny Amazing Depp just for my brothers. They want to watch with me, but but but it means that, I can't watch it till... Their exams are over. Which is next week. Jack Sparrow, wait for me!

I miss these moments.

This too. Torres and Kaka, one of the world's best. I'm not gonna believe that's it's no more though. We gotta BELIEVE.

Ahh, you don't care. Not anymore.
Taoism's Golden Rule: Do not do to others what you don't want other's to do to you.:)

He, whose smile melts me, lights up the whole town, makes the whole world stop and stare forever, and brings me to another planet. Please, pretty please, I want to see this smile, back on that Greek God's face again. A genuine one. 

Deenahaustionaphagia.

Historical day! No more Moral Education in my life, AS OF TODAY. It's a celebration! I don't know how I did it, I MIGHT have screwed it, or maybe not, but who cares, screw it. Hahah. Got wet in the rain, badly, and probably on the verge of dying. I don't know whether it's exhaustion or pathogens attacking my system, but I really do feel like passing out. But don't worry, I'm strong. I think.
It's gonna be a busy busy week next week. Oh yeah, French Open! Rafael Nadal! No matter what happens, everyone knows that French Open, is Nadal's title. He might lend it to someone this year, but ONLY for this year. He will come back, he always does. You will always, be, my, number, one. Always.
Speak of the devil and he's on my homepage. Ohmygosh guess what? He has been named as one of the hundred most powerful celebrties! I'm so proud! Wait, proud, is an understatement. Ecstatic!
And my baby Lewis Hamilton, I missed you so dammmmmn much and am looking forward to see yaaaa!
I'm sleeeeeeeepy. I think I'm dying, Ahhhhh, One more day of school, and WEEKENDS!
Just ONE. MORE. DAY.
I need a getaway. ASAP. I'm already losing my mind! I used to have someone keeping me sane, but looks as if those days are gone. I'm gonna be eighteen soon, is that why? Or is it because I left school? Who knows. I miss so many things in my life, I wish I could go back. Rectify mistakes. Create more opportunities. Undo what I've done.
I miss you so very much, but looks like you've walk out of everything we have ever shared. It's been like what, years? You left years ago, but I still think of you. And yet here am I, missing you and the things we shared. I miss making up stories, creating dreams, building hope, believing and keeping faith. I can't believe you walk out of all that. I miss those days when it was just me and you doing this silly things. Hahah. Silly but special, stupid but real. That was what went missing when I was in High School. I missed it. If I can't throw everything away, I would.
I can fix all this lies, ah baby baby running you.

Dancing Slowly In An Empty Room, Can The Lonely Take The Place Of You?

I should be studying Moral now, no? Don't worry, unlike Chemistry, I will study. Morals finals tomorrow! I'm currently hacking into Chia's portal and stealing his Moral notes. Just kidding. We are sharing notes, of course! But he doesn't want mine. Apparently mine's the equivalent of a Sejarah textbook. It's SO not fair their teacher provided them with easytoread slides! Oh well. Thanks, Chia!
Today was kinda blahh. But at least I laughed. Those little things enough to make my day.=) Weng Ming made history by being the first person to go to the toilet during Mr Rajah's class. Even that after he ended his last sentence. Trust me, Ng Weng Ming, is a MAD guy. He was so freakin' determined to listen to Mr Rajah's lecture till the end and was willingly holding on, while Wei Wei's loud giggle caught Mr Rajah's attention, ohgosh. And Jovan, he sure is crazay. He loves bullying Mr Rajah. I think I screwed my Thinking Skills 3rd question. I had NO IDEA what to write! What the hell, I COMPLETELY screwed Chem today. I am absolutely sure it's gonna be below 20%. Oh dies. Physics as usual tak paham satu benda pun. I changed my phone's wallpaper today, and I feel like that's the biggest achievement of the day.:D It's currently sporting.... James Durbin, the BEST idol contestant EVER. I'm in a serene mood. And you don't get that from me all the time these days.
Ng Weng Ming, don't leave laaaa! You and Wee Minn. It's gonna be killing when you do. Vincent Loo and Bryan Ong, our(Chris and mine's) gay best friends! Vincent is the PERFECT gay buddy, he's like the PhD holder to Bryan's amateur status. LOL. Ahhh those4 people, I love you guys! And Lai Siew Ern, YOU TOO. Babi, you're suchaa outdated nuthead. C'mon, you HAVE to catch Chris Hemsworth's Thor! He is so so freaaaaaking hot! Godlike. Hahah.

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart 
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start 

You put your arms around me 
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go 
You put your arms around me and I'm home :)

You put your arms around me, and I'm home.:)

Enrique Iglesias Comes Before Adam Lambert. I Think.

I'm so screwed for tomorrow's Chemistry test. And then there's the Moral finals the next day. And then there's driving test, looming like a formidable figure, I'm so doomed. Ahh what the hell lah. I'm chilled.
No, I'm dead. I dug my own grave. Ahhhh my paradoxical life. The only thing missing is... Armageddon. The end of the world. Which I doubt is not much longer.

I just wanna be myself, 
And I want you to love me for who I am. 
I just wanna be myself, 
And I want you to know, I am my hair. 

You're So Afraid Of Taking Chances, How You Gonna Reach The Top

I'm slipping in and out of focus. My life feels a lil' meaningless, however I try to raise my spirits, thinking of positive things, believing in things that makes me smile..only for that instant. It comes for a few second, and then, it just vanished. Replaced with total hopelessness. There's always something that says, no, you can't do it. Too many times, too many times now! It's amazing how so many things can make me feel depressed. Completely. And every now and then I keep thinking, shoot me. Oh come on, it's like every single damn thing is going so wrong in my life! From reality to... my boys. Fernando Torres has not score anymore goals after that one he had against West Ham. And he is just a laughing joke now. Ever since he left Liverpool. Funny, he was a Liverpool legend in that short period he was here, and now he's nothing? The moment he left on the 31st of January, somehow my life fell apart. Nope, I am not joking, I'm not saying it because of Fernando. I'm serious. It's probably just a coincidence, but it's too much to be a coincidence. Sighs. Rafael keeps getting slayed by Novak  So that's a bye bye to the Roland Garros, Nadal's forte(that doesn't mean he won't be back) even at his best. Lewis is currently having a shiteous car at Mclaren, which we can say, let's forget about the championship this year. Liverpool makes me proud though. Even if they lost yesterday. But yes, they lost. Nando Verdasco was sent off the top 10 list. Ahhh, and it all might just get worst.

I want it to be a little different. Is that all there is to us? Me just, me?
You! Stop breaking me. Don't ever ever ever play with people's emotion, mine too. No more. No more.

Tell me, am I really slipping away? Cause I don't remember changing. It's them, it's them! But how? Because I get the blame. They left, cause they feel, they've grown up. There's no reason to stay the same anymore. No more, no more. And when I confront, I feel like a child put into her rightful place. Sit and listen. Sit and listen. Cause I'm still that immature, I think. But but but I thought we were of the same age! Not the same mentality though. Now I know, what we shared wasn't all that real. You still prefer her right? The one who was never your best friend in the first place. But you thought she was. Oh what the heck, I've moved on. I found a best friend I know I love and trust with my entire life. And I still have that best friend who loves me after all this months, we left school.

I wish, I wish, I wish, everything would be a little more colourful now. More excitement, more care, more laughs, more love, more fun, more enlightening experiences and relationships. It's all in grayscale now, that's how I see it. I want the troubles to subside. I want more people who really care. I want less annoying brothers. I want less spiteful relatives. I want classmates who really care, classmates who care enough to see I'm always feeling left-out and would pull me back into conversations and laughs. Classmates who would finally realise, I'm here. Classmates who would speak languages I could understand and indulge in. Classmates I can readily trust and believe to share everything I want to share. I want more rain, to wash away my pain. I want more understanding of what my life is going to become. I want sparks in my life, I want to stop feeling so upset and disappointed and angry and mad with every little things. I want so many things which would make this grayscale of a life I have to burst into fireworks and leave me with many magical rendezvous in life. I want, I want, I want.
I don't know what I want, so stop asking me what I want.
I still keep hoping. Still believe. This is just a long string of commercial ad in my life. It's gonna stop soon, and the the real story, is about to begin. Oh, what the hell la.

Here's a Teacher's Day shoutout:
Happy happy teacher's day to those who have enlightened the world in so many wonderful ways. Thank you so much, for being real teachers, for being the real people behind real successes.
I send my love to those who have enlightened my all these years: my mum, Puan Juwita, my favourite primary school teacher, Puan Sabariah Arrifin, Puan Rashida, Puan Maszelina, Miss Woo, my great piano teacher, my ex-add maths tuition teacher.
And especially Puan Farina. Dear teacher, (I know you won't be reading this, hahah, but it's the thought that counts, no?) you have taught me a lot about life. In your lessons, you showed English wasn't a priority, but you shared experiences, shared knowledges and personal advices. And your bitter experience of life is something that kept constantly reminding me how I should treat life and choose my path. I'm happy to have been on your good side till the moment I left school last year, hahah, but most of all I want you to know, I miss you so much, and thank you for everything. And I'm happy too that you still remember me after months when I met you the Saturday two weeks ago, and thank you for the wonderful advice, teacher. You will always be in my heart.
And my other teachers: Rafael Nadal and Lewis Hamilton. They have taught me to always aim for the stars, and you WILL reach it, just never give up, NEVER SAY NEVER.
Fernando Verdasco and Richard Herrera. They have taught me that no matter how many times life knocks us down, get back up and try again, believe you can do it.
Fernando Torres. He has taught me that there are always haters behind every successful person. They may hate, they may laugh at your weakness, but that is never the reason to stop trying to aim for greatness and you KNOW you have achieved alot in your life, you have achievements that some people could only dream of, so take pride in it. And smile.
P.S- Jason Low, you are a crazay crazay driver!=)
Such a long emo post no? But I blog to express, not to impress.
I'm holding on to the impossible. Who cares.

I'm On The Edge Of Glory, And I'm Hanging On The Moment Of Truth.

If Nadal loses to Djoker again, somebody, anybody, just. shoot. me. Vamos, mi amo.

Rafael Nadal, I Love You. Just Don't Push Yourself Too Hard, We Don't Wanna Lose You.

Damn Blogger! First I couldn't access it yesterday to post something. And THEN my last post,  3/4 of it got erased. ARE THEY KIDDING ME? I wrote a super super long post! The Fernando VerdascoandCristianoRonaldodatingtogether picture got deleted too! I HATE when these things happen. Ugh. And NO, you are not stopping me from posting that picture again.=P

My Nando Verdasco! Man, he's terribly tan. But still smoldering hot. Hotter than Cristiano of course.=P Oh yeah, he's the first from left, and Cris is the 3rd from left.:) 

I had the mood to post yesterday, but but but Blogger screwed it up, and now I have no mood AT ALL. Especially when my beautiful last post got half erased. 

Oh yeah, and also because of James Durbin's elimination. THAT, I'll dedicate an entire blogpost to that soon. I spent the morning downloading ALL his songs ever sung on AI, and I must tell how devastated I am when America was suddenly stupified and didn't vote for him. HOW COULD THEY NOT VOTE FOR THE SECOND-BEST CONTESTANT AMERICAN IDOL HAS EVER HAD SINCE ADAM LAMBERT? Stupid FOOLS. My dream finale was gonna be of Pia and James and Casey. The DREAM Top 3. Gahhhh. Now we have some boring kids trying to sing.

He's The Reason For The Teardrops On My Guitar, The Only One Who's Got Enough Of Me To Break My Heart

I said, that hopefully, everything will be back to normal, didn't I? Well, somehow, I'm ALWAYS wrong. Why oh why God, why punish me this way? I have asked this question too many times now, I should stop. Ironically my life's been shiteous ever since Fernando Torres left Liverpool for Chelsea and he suffered silently in public's eyes and Fernando Verdasco's season takes a complete dip. It's like we are living in parallel, but the fate still falls the same.

But it's not fair. I have tried so many damn times to look at the positive side and enjoy life, but these few months have been nothing short of living hell. And the troubles I've faced is not something most ordinary teenagers would  undergo. They all have their perfect little world to care about, where everything is just fun, isn't it? I am stucked. My life currently is not what I've fantasise. Far far from that. Today, I could hardly breathe and live normally, I only paid attention in Chemistry and half of Maths, the rest I could hardly get my head into it. I sat behind, either holding tears or allowing my mind to wane from reality. Reality. Gets my going the wrong way.

It's You And Me Moving In The Speed Of Light Into Eternity

I'm back and hopefully, I am really back to normal. I mean the non-emoing cheerful me. Hopefully. I KNOW it's an impossible task though. Ah well.
In fact, I had the suckiest weekend ever. Saturday was, running-hosepipe day. Hahah. I was tearing up the entire day. Shit happens, and I'm paying for it now. Life sucks. And then funnily, the people I had such high hopes for disappointed me, but the ones I paid least attention to romped victory. Yes, our Malaysian boys, including my hot guy, Koo Kien Keat.XD (Ohhkay he's not THAT hot, but still?) I swear I didn't believe they could win, not after how they played in the semis. I was like, " OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KKK? He's ridiculous!" No joke, I mean that guy, used to be the world's best net player! And in the semis he was.... I didn't watch the finals though, it was late at night. But he won! I mean they won! Datuk Lee Chong Wei was terrifically impressive, and Koo and Tan, finally. A title. I was frustrated with them since the botched All-England final, yes the same one they ALMOST won, and I didn't really expect much out of them. So, congrats guys! And F1. Utter disappointment. Last year, Turkey was practically the BEST race of the calendar, it was THAT exciting. The battle among teammates.=) And this year, if it weren't for the Mclarens, the race would have been a complete yawn. No, I'm not being biased. It's the truth. The Mclarens, both Lew and Jenson are like colours of the rainbow, exploding into fireworks! LOL. Exaggeration much? That's cause the Mclarens are the best on the circuit so they do deserve the exaggerations. If only the car was a winning-machine. We all can dream. Vettel, as much as I love you and that smile of yours, winning all the way is not gonna do any good for the sport, cause there's no excitement. I remember saying yesterday, " If Hamilton got the car like Red Bull, he would not just be wayyy ahead, he would have enough time to even burn doughnuts on the track." HAHA! Duhh, he was amaaaazing.

Mother's Day was not bad. Grandma came over, so there was double celebration. And I slept less than 3 hours the night before, because of some scary and unexplained incidences. Not just what happened to my traumatised mom, but it was a series of scary events which followed, I didn't sleep right to dawn. Ahh well. Mom LOVED the card! It was done in an hour and half, with bloodshot eyes, and lack of sleep enough to drive me into insanity. Blame scary stuffs. And then, without much sleep, I went for driving lessons. We reached the school, and I thought it was gonna be a normal lesson or something. And then we had to fill up some forms and stuffs, and then we sat and waited for things to be processed, that time I kinda wondered what is going on, but I didn't really bothered to ask. And then my instructor just said, get your form from the counter when they call you, and go to pondok A and wait. I did, I sat there, still blur on what's going on,until I glance down at the paper and saw it was a marking scheme. WHAT THE HELL. And then I realise, oh shit I'm sitting for some sort of trial test, and before I can prepare myself mentally, the guy who's gonna be testing me came. I realised, if I fail this I can't be taking my test anytime now and it's gonna drag for weeks. Dayummm. And it was BAD. The guy kept scolding me, it wasn't evem my fault! I was doing alright, but he kept being impatient and whatever, I was scared to death by this man! What the hell la, I so thought I was gonna fail, until I saw a tick on the ' Layak untuk menduduki ujian JPJ." Ahh the world is so weird.
Speaking of world, THE WEATHER! Oh My Lord. It's killing, totally torturous, DIEABLE. This morning, I woke up drenched in sweat, even when I slept with the air-cond on. Sweat! What the hell? And even when we had breakfast, the air-cond in the dining room was switched on. It was THAT bad. I mean eating breakfast under the air-cond? Never tried that at home before, so it's a first. Is it the El-Nino phenomenon or something?
Speaking of El-Nino, THE El-Nino, my Fernando Torres, is living a hell of a life in Chelsea, and I meant negatively. He is a goner. And that's not fair cause, Fernando, MY Fernando, was one of the BEST player in the world, has THE BEST finishing EVER, the one who became a Liverpool legend in two seasons, the one who was so feared by all Liverpool rivals, the one whose partnership with Gerrard has always been revered because it brings on the best quality of football, is now a living joke. THANKS TO DAMN CHELSEA. I am beginning to hate the club so much. They just don't know how to play to his strength, no? And Fernando Torres was NEVER made to warm the bench. He proved that at Liverpool, and Chelsea couldn't do it. If they favour Didier Drogba and Anelka so much, then why bother buying Nando? They gave false hope to a man who aimed for the stars, and that man fell short, he didn't even reach the moon. They are ridiculous, Chelsea. I say: Bring Jose Mourinho back to Chels next season, we want to see quality football back to it's best in England. And Liverpool, is gonna shine. Thanks, King Kenny. Jose Mourinho, please Chelsea needs you. Nando needs you.
And speaking of Nando, (Hahah continuum of events!) Fernando Verdasco took my word and made a change. He changed his ridiculous pink outfit he's been wearing since Aussie Open, and now, my man looks smoldering in orange. No joke, he looks DROOLABLE! And he won his first match against jinx-man Milos Raonic, who Nando has a problem in the past few weeks, to beat. And he finally done it.
Anyway, we were laughing too much in the bus today,
Christina: "Kenneth Lee, your deserve a standing OVULATION." Hahah! She wanted to say ovation, but she said ovulation! Hahahha. IT WAS SO FUNNY! Kern Yen, ovulating? Brian was making a helluva joke out of it. Brian is nuts, me, Chris and Eu Jian was avoiding him the entire time, BUT OUR EFFORTS ARE IN VAIN. Even Vincent! Hahah. Long story. He is super-smart, yet I wonder why is a a retard?? God know. For someone THAT smart, he's  totally retarded. COMPLETELY.

Everything sucks.

At least there's something good to be looking forward to this weekend: Mothers' Day, Formula One in Turkey, Mutua Madrilena Masters, Malaysian Open Grand Prix, Manchester United vs Chelsea, Liverpool vs Tottenham?
Lai Siew Ern, thanks for coming yesterday. I missed you so much!
Brandon, I won!=)
Shit it sucks so much when you can't stop crying over silly reasons, wishing if only your life were way different from what is happening now. I can't believe what happened just now. I hate everything, everyone. I'm sorry.

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing's broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one

Don't look back, got a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo.

Lo Mejor De Mi Vida Eres Tu

Today is tiring! Mind you, tiring, is an understatement. Because we had Biology test. But guess what? This genius here, yeah this super genius, this amazing beyond awesome person here? Yes, me. I didn't study. I opened the book last night, and all I can do was stare into it. And then, I closed it. I knew it isn't gonna work, so I planned to study this morning at three, and instead, I finished my story book. Oh man, that book was so addciting, I couldn't do anything. I finished it, yesterday.=) So yeah, I woke up this morning at three, read about the mamalian's heart section, and then, I switched off the light and went to sleep. Waking up at 5.30. Brilliant, no? And in the bus, I had my iPod on, and flipped through the Bio textbook. And my dear friends, I'm proud to say, I screwed the paper. I seriously don't know what the hell is wrong with me this year, I was never like this! I used to be a brilliant student once ya know. Oh man, this is so sad. Hahah.
Anyway, I did not come home at one like every Friday, because of that Tan Sri Loy Hean Heong awards ceremony. Anyway, that ceremony thing was okay lah. Because we didn't have ANY DAMN TEACHER REPRESENTATIVE FROM OUR DAMN EX-SCHOOL, we didn't take any photos on stage. I beg pardon for this sudden hostility against my ex-school, but everything has it's reason, no? Kern Yen was quite cranky, he thinks Taylor's should be re-named BS College. LOL. It was kinda blahhh la.
I am feeling murderous. I am so gonna kill THESE PEOPLE: Brian Teoh, Vincent Loo, Jeremiah Tay and Lionel Tan! ESPECIALLY Brian Teoh and Vincent Loo. But Jeremiah and Lionel are EQUALLY sick. Ahhhhh you guys!
BTW, Ng Weng Ming YOU WERE AMAAAAAAZING! Loved loved loved the PERFORMANCE!
Yay, F1 this WEEKENDS!XD

It's Always Too Good To Be True, So Forget It.

I should be studying. I know, I should. But like the hell I can. Oh well.
Life is difficult. It's not that I expect it to be easy, but still, it's like it is really dead-set on knocking me down. And I feel like falling down and not getting back up.
Mostly it's thanks to some people who exist in my life. Oh well.
Anyway, today was hilarious in class. Did a presentation. When it was Ray's group, Miss Fiona kept turning to me and giving that funny look. She obviously enjoyed James' craziness. Poor Shaun though. James never gave him the chance. Ray's Thinking Skill presentation was: Should you or should you not cheat on your spouse. WHAT. THE. HELL. And naturally James came up with that idea. God, where did he get his ideas from?! God knows. He is delusional and totally random.
My group did on Teenage Depression. And I must say, I AM SO PROUD OF MY TEAMMATES! Poon Xuan Zhen( I like saying out his full name, hahah) handled the slides awesomely, Weng Ming did the introduction and Jason and Wee Minn did the content along with me. The problem was, no one read the slides beforehand, because I did it alone. Hahah. In fact, no one KNEW what it was about. We just plan to go with the flow, but I was SHOCKED. They were beyond awesome. Weng Ming gave an explosive introduction, as usual, Wee Minn presented about the causes of Teenage Depression. HE WAS HILARIOUS! He kept picking on Jason, using him and Weng Ming as the example the entire way. And Jason retaliated back when it was his turn to explain on Effects, bombarding Wee Minn. LOL. Those two! In fact, Wee Minn was singing Just The Way You Are to Jason the entire day, and quite don't understand why. Oh yeah, and Shaun has got a permanent fan. Miss Vain-and-Annoying all of sudden, total randomly, called out "Shaun Weeeeeeeee" in a horrible high-pitch voice that left the rest of us laughing the hell out. And even on the way home, I WAS IN THE TOILET, and I CAN HEAR THAT SAME PITCHY CALL SUPER LOUD! I came out to find Shaun standing a good five metres away, and hahah the poor thing. It's nice to have fans, but it depends on what type of fans. LOL.
And in the bus, most of the time I was absorbed in my story book, until... Brian came to sit next to me. AND off he goes with his noisy rant about how his grandfather ruined his chance to be born with a silver spoon. On how his sister couldn't get to be a professional just to realise the dream of his father, how he wants to be a doctor so badly to prove to that show-off of an aunt he has.. Ohmygosh. I have gone temporarily deaf for 30 minutes! He said before leaving, " Don't blame your parents, blame your grandparents for not working hard." WTH.
Miss Crush is not herself I suppose. But she did gossiped about me to her best friend? Cause Crush's best friend added me and chatted to me ALL OF SUDDEN. I'm mortified, I must say. PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK! Ahhh, I should stop it. I'm so paranoid. I realise them people adding me one by one just makes me feel amazing, no? Hahah.
To tell ya the truth, I'm tired of life. Because every time I unearth new betrayals and backstabbing and heartache and lies (ohgoshIsoundlikeIjustlostlovehahahwhichisdefinitelynothecasebuteventhatwouldbeabettersituationthanI'minnow.) I wanna escape all this ridiculous misery that's hanging over my head, and stopping faking smiles. It all sucks. So far my year sucks. Can God be anymore obvious in saying that I deserve the worst? Thank you for everything God. And no, in case you're wondering if I'm being sarcastic, I assure you, NOT AT ALL. Everything God has given me, and the BEST blessings ever, and all this problems that I currently face, ohkayyy despite it being too long already and it still drags on, it makes me feel a lil if not a lot more stronger than before. So yeah. But I still break down, every single damn night. Shit happens. I just don't know who to trust. That includes all those loved ones.

Fernando Verdasco Carmona, I wanna marry you! (Please dump that effing Jarah Mariana, she's SO not good for you.) I love you, babyy!:D
This week, two awesomeee showdowns again: MUTUA MADRILENA MASTERS! Ahhhhhhh. Rafael Nadal. The Zeus in human.XD
And TURKEYYYY GRAND PRIX! Lewis Lewis Lewis! We got a mission to complete! Distraction in these forms, are the best I can have.I love you guys so very much, And you too, Nando. Fernando Torres, have I told you that you will always be in my heart? Screw those haters.:)

Dear May, Please Be Good.

I know, I know, that last post was strewn with so many errors, and I don't care. That's what you get when I'm irritated. Hahah.
So, today. Was completely awesomely amazing and equally painful.
Awesome why? Because we had an amazingly wonderful badminton game in Botanic Resort Club. Played for 2 and 1/2 hours with my youngest bro, Chia, Chris, her cousin Tania, and of course, Vincent. Bryan was playing with a few friends of his from STAR. So practically there were ten of us invading the courts. Hahah. Chia and my bro had their game on and was challenging each other since the start, it's like Lee Chong Wei vs Lin Dan! No seriously, they were THAT good. I was shocked, like totally and completely shocked to see my brother had improved so much, he could actually give Chia a run for his money. Me? Totally and completely karat-ed. Anyway, I already had a twisted leg, thanks to walking the entire 1U the day before with high heels, one of the stupidest things I've ever done. And playing badminton did not make it easier. Vincent, was delusional. He was dancing ballet when playing badminton. Like, seriously? First he came late. Like super late. And then he opened his bag, to take out: Pancakes from McD breakfast. He sat on the umpire's chair, eating while we very playing, trying to tempt, but it didn't work. And he played badminton BAREFOOTED. Of course. So Vincent-ish. Hahah. And then my bro went to play solo with Chia, Chris and her cousin went home, and me and Vincent headed to the gym at first. It was random actually. And he went to the equipment which you gotta shake you hips? LOL. Says it was his favourite. I was just getting started on the bicycle when  Justin Bieber's Baby played over the radio, and dumb Vincent says we gotta get out. Ughhh! We went to reading room cause there's Wi-Fi, and Vince needs to show me something very very important. Ohkay, let me tell you what was it: Both of us set up this stupid guy, well he's pretty much 'trying' to be a player, on a fake date. Hahah. Well, me and Vince set up a fake profile of a chinese girl, and we got the hottest picture of a celeb which not many people knows BUT they HAVE heard of her name, and we added him, so it's game on. Because this idiotic effing shit of a guy, goes after every chinese girl, and try to get them out for dates, and tells them he loves them so much cause they are his dream girls and whatever shit? So yeahh. We decided to come up with a fake profile. And he asked this girl we made up out to Sunway today. The thing is, Vince is mostly in charge of the profile, so he does all the flirting with that guy, which funnily he bites the bait. It was hilarious. So me and Vince were in the reading room and he showed me all their flirty texts to each other, and despite we were supposed to be quiet in the room, I couldn't help it but laugh out loud, cause it was THAT dumb. Now seriously, " Why do you keep poking me on facebook? Poke me when you meet me la tomorrow, it will be more fun." and " Tomorrow we go watch movies, you can do anything to me in the movies." LOL! It was so so dumb! And their so-called date was set up at 2. And fyi, she never turned up, but we play our game good. So it still lives on.=) And then back to how was my day, me and my younger bro had to eat lunch at the club cause no one was at home, and we expected some shiteous lunch today, but surprise, surprise, it was good. And then, the excitement of the day: THOR! OhmygoshChrisHemsworthwasextremelyandcompletelydrool-able. He was so freaaaaakin' HOT! Like EXACTLY how a God should be. The God of Thunder. And he always smileeeees. Ahhhhhhh, and those blue eyessss! God knows if it's real. Hahah. But seriously, he was SO HOT! And the movie is amazing! I actually ENJOYED IT. Normally, it takes alot out of a superhero movie to impress me. So far I only LOVE LOVE LOVE TO THE EXTREME POWER: Batman and I find Wolverine, PRETTY IMPRESSIVE. But that's all there is to it. I mean, Iron Man? For a superhero, I find Robert Downey not THAT superhero-ish, as in not the dream hero-like, Bruce Banner from Hulk? He's kinda weak actually, and Spiderman HAS to be the WORST. I mean seriously, Tobey Maguire, Spidey?? I hope Andrew Garfield does a good job. Actor playing the role of a superhero is very very important. So yeah, as of today, Thor is my favourite superhero behind Batman. Wolverine's third. And Batman. Why am I crazay of him? He's THE MOST AMAZING superhero ever. There's class to him. And Christian Bale who IS my FAVOURITE actor, does the best Bruce Wayne the world can get. Christopher Nolan, you are a genius! Christian Bale's acting of Bruce Wayne gives the perfect ideal image of what I expect out of my future boyfriend and husband. So yeahh. He has CLASS. Money. Good taste. Especially in cars. I mean how many superheroes has a Lamborghini Gallardo, like my favourite car ever? NONE. Even Tony Stark despite that many cars he has, it;s what, Audi? So Batman, my man with class. And a good sense of humour and fun too! Hahah. Oh Christian Bale, are you awesome or what? Now we have Chris Hemsworth. Oh gosh, what's with the Chris? And next there's Chris Evans of Captain America. Hopefully I don't fall for him, cause NOT ANOTHER CHRIS! Hahah. But wait, I HAVE ALREADY FALLEN FOR HIM, in Fantastic Four. Jeesh, what the hell lah.
I feel like I was from a battlefield la. My body are battered in places. I think I hit my racket onto my shoulder,and now it hurts so badly when I bump into anything which happens all the time, I pinch my finger against to metal things, and it actually bleeded, and it was the most excruciating pain of today, thanks to heels yesterday and badminton today, my knee is completely out of use because I can't walk anymore, it's hurts like hell!. And then I got a swollen nose. Why? Stupid pimple. It was so huge, it spreaded to the entire tip of my nose. Ahhh thank god it came on last Friday, so at least I get to go to college with no embarassment. The swell on my nose is so painful! And my left palm is hurting so much. I don't even know why. So yeah, battered me. The smallest cut proves to be the most painful. WHY? Oh well.
Some people are so idiotic. What the HELL is your problem? You KNOW you suck? When you put it that way, it's totally embarassing you, because you are taking sides FOR NO REASON. Say whatever you want idiots, cause one day you will turn back to find me, only to turn to the front and see I'm long way ahead of you. Please la, you think when you cheat and lie and be genuine fools you can succeed in life? I say, think again. Stupid nutheads. My dad, has proved enough, why are we so awesomely successful.  And now you are trying to be jealous of yours truly here? FYI, there's no need to be jealous, cause I'm way greater than you and so not your equal. I know, however you try to hide that respect of me, you can't cause I'm amazing, just the way I am. Seriously, we are cousins? I think they are mistaken. My dad never had siblings like that. No effing shit.
Oh boy, I sound so harshly pissed off. And so not me. He influenced me too much. Ahhhh. I'm sorry world, people, HUMAN WHO DO NOT DESERVE TO BE HUMAN, are what wear me thin. I need a God like Thor a.k.a Chris Hemsworth. Then All WILL be Well. Hahah.
Maria was right. Is this a Disney week or something? First the Prince gets married, next the bad guy is killed. Ah Osama, you can never evade the great master Obama, can you? I heart Obama.:D

It's hard for me not to miss you, It's hard for me not to need you. It's permanent damage. She's a 
wreck. You see it?

 Sometimes we indulge in someone else's fairytale and dreams, like in the movies or books or even real-life fantasy-come-true, because deep inside you know it might never happen to you, cause it's too good to be true.

Baby Baby Baby ohhhhh.... I'm crazayyyy to the tenth power.

Lots and LOTS of totally and completely weird things are happening to me these days. At home, in my room, at college, in school, in the car, in MPH (ohgoshwasthatembarassingorwhat??!), everything is super weirdddd.
And it's funnyyyyy too when you have a conversation with your best friend's bizzarely jealous crush. FYI, girl, you wanna have him, GO. AHEAD. Just it depends whether he wants you la. Hahah. I'm so sorry for what happened, just you people, let me make this damn thing clear, HE IS MY BEST FRIEND and nothing more! (And please, do you HONESTLY think I would go for him?) Hahaah! He's so gonna kill me when he reads this. Hahah. Dumb la. I'm feeling dumbbbbb. Why oh why can't I be proud of myself? Everything I do sucks. I suck.
And Verdasco, please don't suck LAAAAA! Whyyyy are you losingggg! Baby, baby. babyyyy think of me and win the silverware for me! Ahhhhh we BOTH suck. I love you, Liverpool.:)