Hypnotised by Drums, Until Forever Comes.

I could get used to this life everyday, naturally without the constant scoldings from mother dearest. I only hope it's a phase every teenager would be going through, or else it's pretty unfair, don't you think?! My mere existence within this house irks her perhaps, because I wake up at a late 7, while she has to wake up at 5.30am. Forgive me, for this privilege I'm bestowed upon, mother. Honestly. But I know, she couldn't live without me, even if she wants to.
It has been fairly a breeze, life is. What with wanting to learn something new every day, I'm not doing too bad. Not that it has been fantastic. But, not bad. There's just so much to learn, I don't know where to start! But the interesting part of 'doing something', is my study on human behaviour. Human. Their characteristics. Their ideas. What goes through their head. I find human, a fascinating study. I try not to judge a person too fast. Not by their appearance, oh no. Because like the next human being, I would be making occasional grave mistakes, and that wouldn't add me up as nice, wouldn't it? Human has always been too fast to decide whether they are going to like someone or not, just by looking at that person. And most of the time, the 'good-looking ones', always end up at the throne. The confidence they feed on, my my, you would think that they think they are gliding amongst the clouds. That's just is. Forgive for it might sound harsh, but honestly, I don't get it. And how would you know a person KNOWS the fact that they are beautiful? Social networking sites. I wonder how some people never fail to post a picture EVERY. DAMN. DAY. Picture, a picture of themselves. In various poses. The Internet has been quick to grasp this fact and the jokes flying around. It gives us good laugh, but, far from stopping this what I call utter ridiculousness. Pointless pictures. Pictures with captions about them getting new bracelets, new bag, but what you get is the signature model-esque poses trying to show those beautiful faces they are very much proud about.
Oh, society. They have defined perfection with a stranglehold to it, that anything out of the ordinary is scoffed it. The perfect face. The perfect eyes. The perfect body. The perfect hair. Yes, yes, such is the importance of a person's appearance, that anything different is laughed at. I wouldn't understand it.
And then you get the ever increasing fake products in the market today. BECAUSE YOU NEED TO ATTEND A PARTY WITH THOSE LONG EYELASHES, OR ELSE YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE AND THEREFORE YOU SHOULD GET LOST BEFORE WE LAUGH AT YOU. Let's not get started with the make-up products. I'm a girl. Recently I purchased a new make-up set. Eye shadows of a variety of colours. Lip glosses. Mascara. Eye liner. etc. I stare at them, not getting the hype over these things. Almost nineteen, and this is the first time I'm having these things, as my own. My history with make-up, could be counted with my fingers on my right hand. Pre-school concerts. That choir competition when I was ten. Cousin's wedding last year. And most recently, prom night. Prom was the perfect example of the human obsession towards 'looking good.' You walk into the hotel, and you find yourself not recognising anyone at first glance. The girls of course. Hidden behind those weights of make-up.
It's alright wanting to look your best. In fact it's good. But getting carried away? I got carried away too, I must say. What were we talking again? Ahhh yes, the human mind. HUMAN PRIORITIES TODAY. And how it affects judging another today. Social networks are the perfect place to study a person. Go on, FACEBOOK. You are not JUDGING yet, you are studying. Two different things. You may argue with me, but I'm not going to waste my time. I do not place a person in a specific category. That;s judging. But I get mind-blown at the priorities people put into perspectives. What is important and what is not. It has been ages since I've posted anything personal on Facebook, I've come a long way. Bad experience, painful moments. Yeah right, like I CARE.
When I first signed up in Facebook, I thought we were supposed to keep in contact with friends and people of the same interests. KEEP IN CONTACT. But as time moves on, all I see is...photos of themselves EVERY SINGLE DAY, the attention they are asking for, possibly to tell the world that they too could have a good shot of modelling to rank themselves among the likes of Gisele Bundchen, Irina Shayk and Bar Rafaelli, not just for the sake of updating people from time to time on how much they have grown. Updating people? Yeah cause you are evolving everyday like a Metamorphmagus. Pink hair today, purple hair the next. WHEN WILL PERSONALITIES GET A CHANCE TO SPEAK OUT? And the statuses. Just woah. You can see it for yourself which statuses gain the most likes. (Boyfriend's on Facebook that is why, "I need to let the whole world know we had a fight and I need a sympathy from another just so that my boyfriend would get jealous." And Facebook shows the whole new level of Overly Attached Girlfriend. Oh God.
I didn't know posting a status littered with profanities would make me a thousand times cooler because only then I would garner loads of likes. There also happen to be loads of love gurus there, no?
There's just far too many of these. But no, I'm not going to be using these to judge a person. I just find it fascinating, fascinated at the priorities my generation take into account. Just 18, and suffering from severe heartache. As if the world's coming to an end with that. At 14, apparently they are already in love. If there's one thing a lot of people don't understand, I would say it's that THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU. Pick yourself up and make a difference to the world, not just yourself.
 I've looked through many profiles, the various personalities, each and every behaviour, every word said, and all I can say is that, IT'S JUST IS SO CONFUSING. Sure, everyone's unique, yet everyone's the same.
I try to look at all these people and find that answer to that one question I've been asking since a kid. I remember when I was six years old, I asked my mother this question, "Ma, are we real?" She wasn't really listening to me and all I got was a "Mmph." But it has always bothered me during my childhood. What if were are all just an illusion? Fragments of imagination. What is holding the universe?

But the question I still don't get till today is, "What are we supposed to live for?"

Maybe it's just me. Twisted confusion within my head. Are we not still running in circles? Maybe not. Maybe I'm just stuck with my thoughts, looking into unspoken depths when the reason could be a lot simpler. Just live. And let fate play the game.

Viva La Espana!

It has been some crazy 48 hours. On Sunday, I was positively losing my mind. Pondering around restlessly, trying not to think. I blogged, I walked around the house, round and round, read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, trying to take a nap in the afternoon but failing to do so, my mind was too loud, refusing to allow me to sleep and forget everything for a bit, and in the evening, I slipped into this zombie in which I hardly spoke to anyone. But I was LOUD, on Twitter. Losing my mind with paranoia.
Because you see, it was the finals on Sunday. More like yesterday morning here in Malaysia, but still official date reads 1st of July. Spain, the team I practically lived for, the past three weeks, is in the finals. But predictions and signs showed that they were AGAINST the odds to win a third major consecutive title. I became very pessimistic, eaten up by my own paranoia, watching the continuous sports news on tv and how a majority of supporters were rooting for the Italians, convinced that they could pull off an upset. I was sure at that time I couldn't stand to watch Spain lose. That game I missed at the World Cup, Spain lost to Switzerland, but apart from that, I have yet to watch Spain losing. I was holding on to that, and also the fact that Fernando Torres have never lost a final in his life. Phew.
SO. 2am my alarm rang. Yeah, I had to sleep, as I wake up at 7am every morning and hell no is my mom allowing me to sleep in. Euro finals or not Euro finals. I was fidgety, very. The closing ceremony in Kiev was incredible! I loved it. It was a very creative concept and a simple ceremony but a heart-warming one. And then.. KICK-OFF. When Jason Dasey was reading out the starting XI for Spain, I was crestfallen, admittedly. I honestly thought Spain was going to go with a striker this time, considering the last time we played 4-6-0 with the Italians, it ended with a draw. NO BUENO. But the moment the match started, I looked at it and wonder, what have I been worrying about all day? MY GOD. THE SPANISH TEAM WERE THAT AMAZING. They were far from the side which brought Portugal all the way to the penalties, far better! All disappointment about not starting with a classic striker drove out of my mind, because the Spanish, stepped it up BIG TIME. They looked like the same side who won the World Cup, possibly even better, because there's no striker. And yet, one, two goals into the net! David Silva's amazing header and Jordi Alba! MY GOD JORDI ALBA. The man is pure class. The movement was magic and Spain completely terrorised the Italians. Italians, who? Antonio Cassano was a shadow of the man whom struck fear the Italian's opponents on the road to the finale. But WHAT HAPPENED? Andrea Pirlo just couldn't match his brilliance against the likes of Xavi Hernandez and Andres Iniesta. THANK GOD XAVI CAME BACK TO FORM. Watching the match, I realise I could afford a smile. Why was I worrying again? Second half, when it was time for substitutions. I was all tied up. Praying Vicente Del Bosque might just hear my plea. You know I wanted to see on the field so bad. He deserves a chance. To just be a part of the team who's going to carry the Cup. Not just a benchwarmer. Off goes David Silva and in comes Pedro Rodriguez. I breathe, thank God it wasn't Cesc Fabregas off. There's only one man who should replace Fabregas... And Fabregas name was called. WHO, WHO? No amount of jubilation can describe what I feel when I saw who was coming on. The stadium rang with his name, "FERNANDO TORRES!". God, dramatic, no? Hahah. And that same moment, my mother, the Italian fan chose to wake up to see the score. I didn't want to look all smug or so happy or whatsoever, the games not over for another 15 minute! But I couldn't help smiling. Hello, Fernando Torres is out there! Mom saw the score, got a mini-heart attack, and says she's going back to sleep. Epic reaction is epic. HAHAH. The game proceeded and I realise I was just too desperate to see Fernando Torres scoring. Aaaah, the possiblities.
I got my wish. He scored. THE MAN SCORED. A crisp finish from a Xavi Hernandez pass and he has written his name alongside Cristiano Ronaldo, Mario Balotelli, Mario Gomez, Alan Dzagoev, and Mario Mandzukic.(What's with the name Mario?) I was victory-dancing, naturally. It's the icing to the cake! Fernando Torres scoring! But little did I know at that time that Fernando Torres would deliberately set up another goal for Spain as Juan Mata, who came a little over a minute to score, thus winning the Golden Boot. I repeat, Spain won the Euro 2012 Cup, AND FERNANDO TORRES WON THE GOLDEN BOOT. Who knew?
Spain rewrote history, by winning the Euro 2008, World Cup 2010, and Euro 2012 and I couldn't have been more proud. VIVA LA ESPANA! Only team in history to do so. The Spanish put on a show in the finals, a show which most of us enjoyed thoroughly. It was jubilation for us Spanish fans, entertainment for real football fans, but agony for Italian fans. Sorry. And who said the tiki taka was all boring and whatsoever?Words were shoved down throats that night, right from the first beauty of a goal from David Silva. That means, you too, Arsene Wenger. Such brilliance, such captivating brilliance. I don't think I've enjoyed a final as much as this! Andres Iniesta, Xavi, Jordi Alba, Gerard Pique, SERGIO RAMOS!, Alvaro Albeloa, Cesc Fabregas, Sergio Busquets, David Silva and this man who deserves everything; IKER CASILLAS. Wonderful goalkeeping, and the clean sheets! HE IS GODLIKE. And Fernando Torres is the only player to score in TWO Euro Cup finals. Well, now you know who Fernando Torres is. Grrrr.
His luck stood though. "Fernando Torres has not lost a final in his life."

I must have been the happiest person on Earth, or not. My emotions were shared across the globe with millions of other people, and that, was something special. Days like are always special. I had only wished upon the stars for a Spanish victory albeit however bad were the signs all the way to the final. I got it better. Fernando Torres, who I have always had faith in since the very first time, no matter how good or bad his form is, bagged the Golden Boot and.. I was all emotional, I'll admit. His days were a reflection of mine last 16 months, so that touched something deep. Not that I would expect you to understand. I'm just made of a substance of pure... madness. Like my love for Fernando Jose Torres Sanz.

Just those glorious moments. Some things in life, gets the over-the-top reaction of enthusiasm. But I'm not worried. Just the opposite. The world's full of these moments, I'm just I glad I get to see them. Special times. And I just wish so bad that maybe one day, my time would come. Don't we all? We all wait for that something big to come. With that small voice asking, "Would it?"

There's a missing piece inside of me, The rhythm of my heart hits unevenly.

They say life is too short. YES, LIFE IS TOO SHORT. But I can't tell that to my parents, can't I? Hahah. They would kill me. So anyway, I tell it to myself. And to the next person who says, "What? I thought you wanted to be a doctor? WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE A DOCTOR? God, these girls. So indecisive. What's so hard in being a doctor? Just study lah."
"Mate, life is too short to be a doctor."
 Why don't you be a billionaire, what's so hard to be a billionaire? Just work lah. HONESTLY.
Oh-kay, I don't even know if that's relevant.

So anyway, life is too short.
Life is too short to not learn more than four languages in your life, even if you sound like an idiot. Bueno, no?
Life is too short to not press the down button on the elevator when you were supposed to rush up because you are already running late for guitar class. I know, I'm that idiot.
Life is too short to not stay awake late into the night, crying over what happened to your favourite story book character. Her father died of terminal cancer. CRIES LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW. She found the real love of her mortal life after reincarnating from a past highest ranked Archangel life, and fall in love again "for the first-and last-time of Lucinda Price and Daniel Grigori's lives." TEARING UP BECAUSE I'M A ROMANTIC FOOL.
Life is too short to not wake up at 7am every morning. WHAT?
Life is too short to not watch the same episode of Hawaii 5-0 multiple times and swoon to death over the bromances of Steve Mcgarrett and Detective Danny Williams.
Life is too short to not watch The Dark Knight for the millionth times and have the lines from the movies completely memorised. "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain."
"Harvey Dent is a hero not Gotham deserves, but a hero Gotham needs.." "Batman is a hero Gotham deserves but not what it needs now. He's the silent guardian. The watchful protector. THE DARK KNIGHT."  Forgive me.
Life is too short to not dance to Domino playing over the stereo in Tesco supermarket or Jusco shopping mall, no matter if there's anyone around.
Life is too short to not watch each and every match of your favourite football team in the Euro 2012.
Life is too short to not sit through around 5 hours of French Open final to see Rafael Nadal triumph over Novak Djokovic.
Life is too short to not watch every single The Wanted's videos in existence in Youtube.
Life is too short to not read Harry Potter every year. It's been a decade. Sighs.
Life is too short to not dream about the impossible. To dream about things which you know won't happen. Possibly ever. But what the heck.
Life is too short to not seize it. Do silly things. To not laugh at yourself. To not call yourself that idiot. To not have slapped your brother twice in a week.HAHA. Sorry, kid.
Life is too short to keep everything to yourself and not give another a chance to laugh at you. Because, who really cares? Too short to appear stupid once in a while. Too short to hate something so much, you want to watch it burn. To short to make people hate you when you can avoid it.
Life is too short to follow the flow.

We all have the angel in us. We all have the demon in us. Our choices tips the scale. But a way out of this, is love. Every beautiful thing in existence is through love. Love life.
"Hey young homie, what you trippin' on? Living life like how did I get it wrong? Life's too short gotta live it long, to my brothers and sisters when will we get along?" -Young Homie.


P.S-After agonizing drag through four books, in which I fell in love with the books, and then fell out of love for a brief period, and back to love it, The Fallen series by Lauren Kate is done. Her writing execution may not be the best, but after reading the entire story, it was so worth it. One of the most beautiful stories I have on my book shelves. So beautiful, but what can I say? I'm probably a romantic fool. Thank GOD, it's not another Twilight series. TOTALLY WORTH IT.