And If You Know, How Do You Get Out From An All Time Low?

Now, LIFE. You never really can understand it. And everything just goes haywire the moment you step out of high school. You enter that line which screams, ' YOU ARE A FREAKIN' ADULT NOW!' and everything just feels... disorientated. Like you don't know what are you doing anymore. Like you don't know where will you be going. Like the fear in you. Like you want to scream at everything and everyone around you.
Some days, makes me feel that way. Because, I'm frightened, you know. I have lost the confidence in life. Hardly ever, have I felt this way while I'm still.. under eighteen? High school was a simple life. I didn't regret not spending it well enough, because I think I did. I learn alot of things, I made great friends. I had fun moments and fell in love with them. But maybe, just maybe, I didn't learn enough.
This one year in college taught me more about life than the previous seventeen year, I suppose. Like how it's impossible to juggle things like you are suppose to. Or like, how people change. And then they don't give a damn. They walk away. Some look down on you, because apparently THEY ARE COOLER THAN ME!, some find a new best friend and say hey you are not that important to me. Many of them, take you for granted.
That hurts, when you can't quite fit it, where you want to. Instead, you have to ride solo. And then there's people pushing you away. You feel, lost.
Messed up, bad.
I want to be in control of my emotions, but sometimes, it's just soooo blardy hard. WHY. I want to be.. like Peeta Mellark. (Btw, I'm going to watch the movie this Friday. Or Sunday.) Unselfishly giving your life and devotion for the benefits of another. Like, why do I care what I feel? It's only going to hurt me. At least, being Peeta, you make sure another person sees the light. So far, I couldn't really get myself to be that way, but I'm trying.
I've a whole life to expect, to be excited about. But here I am, sitting and mopping around about how unfair the world is. Hate myself for it. I've got big dreams. But, I'm letting the tough life to knock me down. My studies, it's SUFFERING! Seems like I've fallen a long way from who I used to be. And it's SO. DAMN. HARD. TO. GET. BACK. UP. THERE. Why is it so hard to focus? Maybe I don't want to grow up. Don't want to accept reality. Yeah, and then there's me, who's so often stuck in her daydreams. Stupid. How to get a grip on life. SO HARD.
So, really, I'm not having the best of time in my life, but... I find myself being grateful to some things in life. Like my crazy family. Or my crazy friends. YOU TOO, RACHEL SAW! Like little surprises I get. Like the big thing, this Saturday. Like F1, tennis, football, which keeps me on my mark. Adrenaline. Like, The WANTED! who keeps me happy on the days I can't lift myself up from my bed. Music, the best therapy always. Ed Sheeran, Joe Brooks, all of it. My iPod, now that's one thing that's worth a million. Ahh well. Life.

Here's to why living life as crazy idiots actually makes more sense than being the emo kid in the block. You have a lot of fun, you don't lose yourself. You become a great person, inside, and out. You feel like butterflies! I know, it doesn't make any sense. Life doesn't either.

And I can't quite decide which is my favourite The Wanted on The Wanted video. Yeah, and here's five more crazy dudes. So, just be crazy. Hahah.

Here's A Toast To My Dandelion in the Spring, My inspiration.

First things, first.
A very very very very happy 28th birthday to the one and only Fernando Torres. Well, you do know how much I LOVE him. And pretty much nothing really could disrupt my 'love' for him, even at some point he might be the world suckiest footballer. People tend to hate a person who does not do what he is expected of, easily. And Fernando here, got a bad taste of it. Being the Liverpool fan, I am supposed to hate him to his guts, just like the rest of them. But, I don't. They say he's a traitor. He left to a rival club. For the sake of money. You know, he said he wants to leave Liverpool even before the 50 million price tag was put on his head. He wasn't happy being at Liverpool. But what do people know? You left, you are a traitor. And then he suffered. Long droughts of goalless reputation. He became a joke to many. Fernando Torres, the footballer who can't score. Fernando Torres with the miss of the season. Fernando Torres, the joke of EPL. Honestly? Everytime anyone finds out how much I love him, they always try 'the joke.' All the insults. It's been years now, and it's like this boy has grown on me. Funny, eh? He doesn't even KNOW me. But does it matter? He's an inspiration to me. No one can really KNOW you, really. It's you, and you alone. Fernando Torres appear to me, a human who, well, is being human. He faces challenges in life, he rose to fame, he fell out of grace, he's hurt by life, he lost the faith of some. But, he never gave up. That is a quality that puts him above the talented great players.
Fernando got himself a birthday gift two days before, 2 goals, 2 assist, probably a renewed confidence, winning back fans' faith, and a replenished reputation. The cheer in the stadium when he scored. It was then people remembered, who he was. The brilliant striker people once feared. The man who tore down the defenses of rivals, the man who became a legend at Liverpool. He was the best thing Liverpool had in the new millennium, and no one replaced him even after he left. Watching the match, I felt proud. AND there was hope.

Happy Birthday, Fernando. You've been a great inspiration to me, probably in ways no one could understand, but you will always have my faith. Please don't give up. I'm afraid of losing you, just like all faithful fans out there.

 

Fernando Torres, is more than just his pretty face, you know. Behind that impassive face on screen, there's a war raging. Just like many of us. He's human. Try standing in his shoes, before you put words to describe him. Him and the rest of the world.

"When you judge another person, it isn't really defining THEM. It's defining YOURSELF." 

(Not that I'm a saint, and do not judge anyone. I do. But I don't degrade them for something they are NOT. I give them credit to where they are due. Like.. Vettel. Or Button. I might not like them much, but I don't go saying they a piece of shit. Or rubbish. Funnily, these two used to be my favourites. All that, once upon a time.)

You Treat Me Like A Stranger And It Feels So Rough

What if you are living a life that is scarce of love and compassion from the people around you, that it aches you to live?
What if people don't believe in you?
What if people around you exist to bring you down?
What if life screws you over and over?
What if you find yourself with no one to bring you up when you fall down?
What of during the darkest hours, you find yourself alone?
What if you find that there's no one out there who would make an effort just to see you smile?
What if people don't care what they say will only hurt you?
What if people don't really care about what YOU have to say?
What if people just care to belittle your dreams, saying you'll never achieve them?
What if people think you are only worthless?


You don't give up.
You count your blessings.
You try and ignore these people around you, because one day, you know you'll be out there making another's life a better one.
You will work to be the sunshine in another's life, even if there's barely any left in yours.
You will show them that a person is made of her or his heart, not the amount of money in her or his bank, or the car they are driving.
You will be the reason behind another's smile, even when there's no one behind yours.
You will make the better part of the world.
Your voice, will be out there only for those who are willing to listen to it.
You, alone, will see the beauty the world has to offer, and make the best of it.
When people brings you down, all you need to is smile, and breathe.
You CAN walk alone, you will keep walking, because you KNOW you can survive, you will survive.
At the end of the day, that is the biggest achievement one can be proud of.
To look back and said, I survived this far, when no one else believed that I could. :)

And They Scream, The Worst Things In Life Come Free To Us

It's been ages, and to be honest, I only remembered my blog when Rachel said I should blog. Sorry. Life is CRAZY.
And I have totally no idea what should blog about.
Let's talk about what got me mad these days. :)

As always, I have my favourite, or this season, favourites.
REED GRIMM AND COLTON DIXON. :)
I love love love watching Reed Grimm. His performances, makes the magic out of the music. Watching him, there's no depression. I like. Team Reed Grimm!
Colton Dixon, is one man's music who we would buy. Everything about him, so clean-cut, is what America needs. AND HE DIDN'T EVEN INTEND TO AUDITION!
 I mean come on, who does America has to represent it? Lady Gaga. Rihanna. Nicki Minaj. Katy Perry, Chris Brown, are all kinda mainstream these days. Simple song, big beats, ginormous hits.
But the British, is where you go for music. :D (I know Ray, you LOVE McFly. British.)
Adele. She broke WORLD RECORD. She's mainstream, but for a good reason. Her music is real. These music is worth listening.
My personal favourite: THE WANTED! They are so amazing, so wonderful, so beautiful, so awesome, so fantastic, so BEYOND...Amazing, and your argument is invalid, I don't even want to hear it.
And my recent addiction, Ed Sheeran. Seriously, GO AND LISTEN TO HIM. He is AMAZING. Really, what are you waiting for?

So, back to America Idol. So exciting isn't it, this season? With Reed Grimm and all.. ONLY TO FIND HIM FREAKIN' ELIMINATED LAST WEEK. I was totally completely heartbroken. How could they possibly.. Reed Grimm's a sweetheart. Amazing talent, and amazing personality. A person who believes he could change the world with just his music. And I believe just that. His rendition of Moves Like Jagger? BRILLIANT. But he still got eliminated. Someone as lovely as him. Cruel world, CRUEL. And just like that, I give up on AI this year. (But congratulations Dear Colton, praying you will make it far.)
So it's ridiculous. You have these reality competitions and all, but the best hardly ever win. We get crowned winners like Scotty McCreery (I hardly ever liked him, neither that I disliked him), ONE DIRECTION (Like, REALLY?) and tons of insignificant people I don't want to mention although we should give them credit for bravery at attempt. Sighs.
Did I mention how much I love Joe Brooks? And I didn't get to go to his concert, although I did watch him on my favourite tv show. So cute.
So basically, I'm sick of all this crap Americans like Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Lady Gaga comes up with plus gaining big hits with their supposedly mediocre music, because the world need more Ed Sheeran, Joe Brooks, THE WANTED! (they are clowns who can sing AND their live performances are better than their studio recordings). But there are amazing Americans like, JASON MRAZ!, the brilliant John Mayer, Kelly Clarkson! There's one famous artist who never need to bare her body and use profanities to gain fans. We love her all the same. Hoping Demi Lovato, whose voice is just as extraordinary could work it like Kelly. :)
And come on, there are amazing talents out there, rather than One Direction. Sure, Zayn Malik is so pretty and all but really? Wake up people.

That's all I have. Ramblings on music. And it's all based purely on my opinion if I have offended anyone in one way or another, I'M SORRY! I'm still human. I'll let you know if I'm transformed into some alien being by those aliens which might come to abduct me at night.
My next post would mostly likely be on... Peeta Mellark. As soon as I'm done with Mockingjay.:) I'm sorry, that is one name that is completely stuck in my head, and Rachel knows why. Sighs. The world is so cruel. We all could do with more Peeta Mellarks' around us. "Eye for beauty."
Me and Ray spent most of the after break periods trying to figure out who would be best to represent the cast of the Hunger Games only because Ray doesn't like the current one. Despite that little argument on how Lucas Till, the gorgeous, wonderful Lucas Till, whom I almost cried for in X-Men First Class, (yes, I'm an idiot for him, and Alex Pettyfer. Although I know how to control my emotions when it comes to the best actor in the world, Christian Bale! ) would make a BETTER Peeta. Just look at Lucas, so perfect. But I have no qualms on Josh Hutcherson being Peeta or Liam Hemsworth being Gale. I think they would do AMAZINGLY, unlike Rachel. I mean, come on! BIG NAMES, these are. Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth. I doubt they would degrade themselves in any way. I am determined to LOVE Josh Hutcherson because... he's Peeta! Like how I like Taylor Lautner because I love Jacob Black. The CHARACTER comes first. Like Daniel Radcliffe. THE Harry Potter. See? Oh, Peeta.

All is well, my fellow comrades! Have fun while you can. And don't be like me. Unable to differentiate the difference between reality and imagination, and it's taking toll on my emotions. I'm not myself these days, and the only time I'm a little alright would be, in class, of course. When you have Rachel the Insanity and Jovan the Chinese.
Well, peace out. :) Don't give up, keep walking. (This is merely a feeble attempt to convince myself that things will be alright. People will suffer less. Yeah right. Cruel world, out there.) Life isn't easy. It keeps wanting to trip us all. Face down on the floor.