Found you in a river of pure emotions!

The post, is seemingly aptly titled. River of pure emotions. Exactly where I was the past few weeks. You do know what it's like to be so overwhelmed with reality, that you just step out of it, not wanting to get involved in anything? Maybe I'm merely exaggerating. The last few weeks, has been whoa. I mean, it wasn't entirely bad, but me, the kid who can adapt to any situation anywhere anytime, I HAD A BAAAAD TIME trying to get used to the.. environment. Like I completely zoned out of life. I talked to no one but Gillian. True story. Whatever happened to me? I just couldn't get used to things. That's all. The subjects were great, very interesting, and doing something entirely new and fresh, definitely feels ama-zing. The lecturers make them wonderful, there's no doubt about that. But the bitter part of me? The homesickness in me. Homesick? Well I miss my friends so badly! The problem with me was I was building a wall around me. I keep saying to myself, I can never find great people like the ones I left back there. But I soon got over it. Soon as in this week. Allow myself to smile and make new friends. GOD, I'm such a drama person. Most people say, "Just go with the flow." You try and see lah. The thing about expectations, when you have them, they always let you down. Well most of the time. Because sometimes you tend to expect below par. Actually that hardly ever happens. But yeah. I was.. hoping to do something bigger, you know? All I know now is for the next two years I'll be needing to devote myself to studying. I want to do something MORE. Go out there and... start a revolution or something? Just kidding. But yeah, discover something new.
Just me feeling worthless. These moments, hit me so hard I want to kill myself. I do I expect, I should be President Obama by now? Oh ha ha ha. But I assure you, I got better. To counter the impatience I'm feeling and need to being something big and worthwhile, I set up small goals. Ain't that what life is all about, small things? Like as of next week I'll be using the train every day to and fro. Naturally we are not living in London or whatsoever, so the train rides is not very pretty here eh, but it's experience. :D (Don't bother trying to say anything opposite because for god's sake I'm trying to look at the bright side here, okay?) There are people I met today who travel aaaaallll the way from Seremban EVERY SINGLE DAMN MORNING to Brickfields, to study. And they have been doing it for nearly two years now, since they started on their A-Levels. WHAT THE HELL. And what makes ME think I can't do this. Oh right, the fact I was brought up like a princess, believing life's all a bed of roses. It's not, Deena, and you need to wake up, come on!
Sometimes, I think I convince myself way better than anyone else could, even if I lie to myself. I actually believe my lies. I'm so awesome.
I've been making sure my life is quite exciting, anyway. How? X-Factor US, X-Factor UK, and The Voice. Wooooo. Incredible. The talent pool in The Voice, AMAZING. You don't just get good singers you get GREAT singers. As for the X-factor US, you get all the American weirdos coming in droves. But there are some amazing singers, no doubt. Jeffrey Adam Gutt. Paige Thomas. As for the X-Factor UK where Boot Camp auditions are over and now to the judges house performances, I ONLY HAVE ONE FAVOURITE. How can he NOT be a favourite. Kye Sones. He is AMAZING. Remember that name, Kye Sones. I was really happy when Gary is going to become his mentor. You genius, Simon! I NEED THIS GUY TO WIN SO BAD. I practically watch all the auditions and performances BEFORE it hits the TV. (Well, X-factor UK never does hit our Malaysian channels.)
These things, make me go. Keep pushing. Sports has been a huge let down these days. Mclaren screw up a couple of times, Lewis Hamilton the arguably best racer on track is on the losing end because of his ridiculously ass of a team. Liverpool... We are riding on a wave of complete bad luck. Still chasing our first win of the season, when Chelsea's already 11 points ahead of us. ERGH. Rafael Nadal's still battling injury, he's not coming back anytime now. YET, I'm not giving up on them. Once a Liverpool fan ALWAYS a Liverpool fan. And Lewis and Rafael have NEVER disappointed me on their own accord, so why should I worry? Much love, guys. Life is not  bad.
You just never get things the way you expect them to happen. You just have to make the best of the small things in life. Cheers!