Confidence Like A Rockstar

I've been such a bitter child as of late. I have no time to be bitter when tomorrow comes. No, really. Life is going to be crazy. I have only two weeks to finish the first assignment, a week later for the second and another week to follow for the third. HOW AM I TO SURVIVE. And the next four days this week, I will be attending the Israel-Palestine war crime tribunal from 9-5 in PWTC, and by the time I'm back, I'm as good as dead. AND there's THREE minor assignments to be passed up next week. But then again, it's the university life. And the reality starts tomorrow.
My Deepavali celebrations this year, however quieter it is compared to the years previously, it's more family orientated, and I loved it. :) Being a festival of light, it sure did enlighten me. Oh so I say. I'm such a screwed-up mess. But I had an amazing time, I can't complain. I shouldn't. I'm ready to forgive the world. :)
And you can say that I'm PMS-ing at all times. I'm disgusted with myself. I think. Or maybe not.
And the constant worry. How will Liverpool fare? (They scored big yesterday thanks to THE MAN LUIS SUAREZ!) or when will Rafael Nadal be back? With Lewis meanwhile, we are both laid-back because we know how things are there's need no worry, because Mclaren is such a screwed-up team, anyway. AND after Kye's elimination, I thought I wouldn't care for anyone anymore. I was wrong. Union J won my heart. And a certain Josh Cuthbert. But they are probably gonna be eliminated tonight. Sigh.
AND I turned down someone last week. On top of being socially-awkward, I just.. I mean I was a complete anti-social whale for more than two months, and yet someone came and... I'm sorry. He was so completely nice, acceptable looks, really friendly, but uhm, no. I just don't hook up and all.. AND I'M SOCIALLY AWKWARD. Why do you do this to me. How am I gonna attend classes in peace now. I'm so sorry?Gosh, everything makes me crazy. AND CHRISTINA, YOU ARE NOT HELPING.
Anyway, I told Chris all about my life plans, at least about the main goals, and I'm hoping it doesn't seem absurd. She's just disappointed about why I turned down. As if she doesn't have enough love-life crisis of her own. God, why is everything so complicated.

There's just so much in me, to say out, I'm losing my mind. So much to do, so little time.
I need that confidence, that hope, that belief, that I can't do anything. A part of me can feel it, the other, not so much. Because I know what it's like to feel lost and insecure. I need to wake up.

I love you, Andy Brown. And you too, Nath.

I said people, we're all looking for love tonight, sometimes we can't see it, we're blinded by the light.