See This Heart, Won't Settle Down, Like A Child Running Scared From A Clown

There's just this steadily increasing bout of excitement in me. Christmas, and a week later, New Year. I have been waiting for the New Year to begin like for ages, I must say. At some point this year, I gave up on waiting for better things to happen. Because I know it's not going to. Maybe my luck was just plain bad this year, what with the series of unfortunate events and everything, but I believe next year is going to be a GREAT one. I don't know. I just have that feeling. I was very pessimistic towards 2011. I thought it could be a year I could just take my foot of the pedal, you know? The biggest mistake I have done this year, and I don't know what I can do to erase them.
Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to a very exciting new year. I know it's gonna be fantastic. And I'm planning to live every single moment of this last week of 2011. Time. It just flies past. It's practically the cause of every mistake we do, only because we don't have enough time. And it's also the giver of opportunity.
2012, it's just.. it makes me feel like I'm gonna start all over again. It's what I want. So dear Fate, don't ruin this for me, okay? :)

I don't understand my own babblings, really. There's just a sense of excitement in me that I can't explain myself. I want everything to be perfect. To think about it, college ends next year June, and then the prospect of what's waiting for me and my dearest friends in our future is wide open. Hahah. But seriously.

It's always because we don't have enough time, isn't it? I can't believe at some point I'm gonna leave everything behind.. My brothers were discussing on how my dad should consider getting a bigger car since all of us have grown up quite a deal, next year my youngest bro will turn thirteen! And my mom casually put in that I won't be here much longer. To think I'll be leaving my old life behind in pursuit of something new.. Scary. And leaving my friends and family. That will be unbearable. While leaving my family while I study won't change a thing because I know I will always come back to their warmth and my home, but I don't think it will be the same with friends, will it? That will be painful, that will. All those memories.

I'm just pondering about the future, and wishing it would go my way. We all fear things we don't know.
And I'm scared. Already am.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Spend that last one week like there's no next year. I mean, it's gonna be a whole new ball game, isn't it? At least now we are feeling secured. I am. Next year's just a big question mark.
World, I'm waiting for what you have yet to offer me. That's for all the excitement pent up in me.:)