These days I've been in a complete state of confusion. Sometimes, my mum will be wondering what the hell am I doing, pacing around the house like a lost soul. And then, there's the strain in me. And sometimes, what people say, it might have been intended as a light-hearted exchange, but for me, it hurt more deeper than it should have. And there's me banging the walls. And when you try so very hard to forget someone, or something, anything, somehow it invades your dreams. And when you wake up, you feel so upset, because it felt real. And it's stuck in your head for the rest of the day, because you just can't push it away, you think it's real., and no, the thing that happened in my dreams, is not a bad thing at all, but because it's good, I know it will happen to me ever. That's what makes me upset. And not to forget how paranoid I am: I worry about stuffs most people don't give a damn. How do you stop something you refuse your heart to feel, but to late, it's already stuck? I'm in huge dilemma. And that feeling when you don't want to lose something. As much paranoid and troubled-headed I can be, I still must say, thank God I'm not like some people out there. People who cares for themselves alone. And self-absorbed people. People, who well, the think they are gonna rule the world, but the couldn't care less about other people. Especially people who sees the world in a single view. How boring and narrow-minded can they be? Then again, we all have different minds and hearts.
Music, keeps me sane. I listen to a variety genres, but if they are good, then they are good. These days, I have been stucked with all the songs Pia Toscano had sung in AI. I don't know why, but I just fell for her voice. Recent downloads in my iPod: Pia Toscano and James Durbin.=)
Hols are for indulging myself in story books. LOADS OF THEM. Recently my aunty came over, apparently she wanted to give me a treat for my awesome results(yeah right), and she came up with so many suggestions, EXPENSIVE suggestions. Yeah, she's super-loaded and all, (7 BMWs, I tell you!), but I am always uncomfortable when someone gets me something expensive. Like the time in 5D, when my psychomaniac of friends got me that huge teddy bear, I didn't know how to accept it. And so many times, my dad's clients offered to buy me stuffs, I just couldn't accept it! Okay back to the topic, so she was so insistent, even after a rather expensive dinner and dessert, so I just said I want books. She wasn't shocked of course, she knew how much I love them. And yeah, so now I have a collection of unread books, which I am going through now, and the By Midnight book is actually really good! Like the way-better version of Twilight. And loads more. And funnily, this time I didn't stick to the Young Adult fantasy teen genre alone.
And what's with me and marriage these days? LOL. Bruno Mars, I blame you!=P
It drives me mad when I don't know everything, and I want to. Because I'm afraid of being dead wrong. What if I am? I will never forgive myself.:)
I need a magical wand now.
Let's follow our hearts and make our own love story. Let's be the modern Cinderella and Prince Charming, let's be the perfect version of Bella and Edward, let's bring Romeo and Juliet to a whole new level, let's show the world what it really is, and spread it, not just because two is better than one, but because the more the merrier. After all the world is a better place with love.
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